Christopher (00:00):

I had a policy where I was allowed to turn in work late, and that really helped in getting grades that I… Because I would do the work okay, and I would get a good grade on the work, but I’d always forget about it or turn in a week late. But I think that’s also, in a way, detrimented my study habits, I found, because now I’m almost subconsciously relying on the fact that I can turn it in way after the date.

Lindsay Guentzel (00:28):

You’re listening to Refocused, Together, and this is episode 18, Christopher and Managing the ADHD Transition to College.

(00:45):

Welcome back to Refocused, a podcast all about ADHD. I’m your host, Lindsay Guentzel, and today we’ve got another story in our Refocused, Together series, the special project we started last year as a part of our commitment to ADHD Awareness Month.

(01:01):

You just heard today’s guest, Christopher. Christopher was diagnosed with ADHD at an early age thanks to his parents and teachers noticing symptoms during elementary school. He also attributes being in an immersion program with a high-performing academic culture as what helped to highlight what was going on for him and how he was different from other students.

(01:25):

Christopher is now an 18-year-old college student living and going to school roughly 1,600 miles away from home. He’s an Eagle Scout, a Zamboni driver, and once upon a time took PSEO classes, which is when a high school student takes a college class while still in high school. Let’s hear more from Christopher on how his childhood ADHD diagnosis helped shape his path as a student, the struggles his family went through trying to figure out the proper medication that helped but didn’t stunt his creativity, and the things he knows he needs to stay focused on now that he’s a college student to make sure his ADHD doesn’t make freshman year more difficult than it already is.

(02:17):

With Refocused, Together, we ask everyone the same questions, and we get started with, when were you diagnosed with ADHD, and what was that diagnosis like? I know that for you this happened when you were a kid, so just share what you remember.

Christopher (02:32):

My diagnosis came I think in first grade. I recently talked to my parents to get a refresher, and they said they had warning signs or just signs of symptoms all the way back in preschool and the start of school.

Lindsay Guentzel (02:47):

Do you remember anything about being in school when you were younger about being pulled out for class for special sessions or anything?

Christopher (02:54):

I do, all the time. I was in a special group growing up all the way until around sixth grade. Even in preschool, I remember not doing assignments and being off in my own world and not really doing the same thing as the other kids did.

Lindsay Guentzel (03:10):

When that was happening and you noticed that you were different, what was that like for you?

Christopher (03:18):

The time, I didn’t really care. I was really ignorant, blissful ignorance, especially with my assignments going in later parts of school. I had missing stuff and bad grades. It didn’t really matter back then, but I didn’t care because I didn’t really realize I was missing stuff or that I was in a different group than everyone else. It was more just fun because I get to hang out with kids who are like me.

Lindsay Guentzel (03:39):

What stands out for you when you think about your ADHD, and how it shows up in your life, and how that showed up in school?

Christopher (03:48):

I think ADHD has become intertwined with my personality at this point. I think it only really impacts me in a negative way or that I can see in school because just the way school is set up. I kind of butt heads with how that system works, and it makes it very clear that I have it. Otherwise, it wouldn’t stand out to me a lot.

Lindsay Guentzel (04:10):

What are some of the things that you see in yourself with your ADHD? Are you hyperactive? Is it inattentive? Is it a combination?

Christopher (04:18):

I’m definitely hyperactive. I think I have ADD, actually. I don’t have the hyperactive part. I’m very chill. That’s a huge part of who I am. I’m just very laid back. I don’t really care about a lot of things that much, in a good way. ADHD also allows me to hyper-focus on things, though, too, because I have that aspect and I have the awesome ability to not be able to focus on anything, the reverse of that.

Lindsay Guentzel (04:42):

You just graduated, and you’re about to start school, and you said that one of the only ways that ADHD shows up in your life that’s negative is in school. What are you concerned about with starting college? Because there’s a lot of freedom.

Christopher (04:55):

I’m really scared that with that freedom and autonomy that it’s all going to fall on me, which I’m an adult now so it should. But I’m a little scared of that negatively impacted me because of the lack of structure that could allow me to procrastinate and hurt myself and my GPA. But it kind of depends on the teacher and the curriculum and how they have things set up, but it’s just kind of a sink-or-swim moment for me to see if I can really stay on my own, stay afloat.

Lindsay Guentzel (05:23):

But you have that mindset, too. You know what you’re up against, which is so helpful.

Christopher (05:27):

I do think that’s helpful. Because I did PSEO during high school, which I got to take college classes. But without that experience, I’d be lacking that… I wouldn’t know exactly what it’s like, what to look forward to, what to look out for for college, so I’m happy I had that. That’s going to help a lot.

Lindsay Guentzel (05:45):

When you look back at school, what stands out for you as some of the biggest struggles? Was it communicating with teachers about your specific needs? Was it the schedule, the rigor, the being forced to sit in one place at a time?

Christopher (06:00):

A little bit of all that, but especially getting the school to follow my special needs. Because I had a 504 throughout elementary school, middle school, and even now. Those things have been reduced as the time has been going on, but early on it was impossible. I even had to switch schools at one point because it was just better in the long run, but especially because they had a lot of trouble following my 504 to the point where we could have even taken legal action. We didn’t end up doing that. But they continued to ignore it and say they would do certain things and then fall short on those promises. It was really a struggle. I mean, I think that my parents were huge advocates for me. Shout out to Mom and Dad. But if not for them, there would be not even that discourse to even try and fulfill those promises. It was a lot of falling short on their side. It was a struggle to get any kind of accommodations for the most part. I really had to fight for anything.

Lindsay Guentzel (06:54):

Of the accommodations that you were able to get or that you added in on your own, what has worked well for you?

Christopher (07:00):

I think in the short term, I had a policy where I was allowed to turn in work late. That really helped in getting grades that I… Because I would do the work okay. I would get a good grade on the work, but I’d always forget about it or turn it in a week late. But I think that’s also in a way detrimented, my study habits, I found, because now I’m almost subconsciously relying on the fact that I can turn it in way after the date. I’ve been slowly rebuilding that study habit to turn it on time, so I’m really trying to work on that for college.

Lindsay Guentzel (07:33):

Have you been in touch at all with anything accessibility-wise at school for college this fall?

Christopher (07:39):

Yeah. When going through the application process and once I’ve been accepted in going through all the different departments and their services, I went through the disabilities office and we talked about different accommodations that I could have. To be honest, it’s pretty sparse in the college team, which I understand there’s a lot of academic integrity and they want to keep an even playing field for as best they can. But there are a couple of accommodations I’ve looked at, like longer time on tests, and a little wiggle room with due dates, but that’s more up to the professor.

Lindsay Guentzel (08:09):

I’m glad that you are pursuing that. I agree, they’re also sparse. I have this conversation with a lot of people, whether they’re in college right now, or looking in college, or they’re in grad school, and it’s frustrating because it’s not like ADHD showed up overnight. In fact, you even just said you have ADD, which is, we now know, that DSM has been changed so that it’s ADHD, and there’s three different types. But so much has changed over the last… I mean, even just since you were a kid, and that’s not even 20 years ago. And yet, we still have all of these issues. I’m curious from your perspective… And you’ve touched on this a little bit, but what are you most concerned about with college? Then, are you thinking of ways to work around that on your own, knowing that these accommodations only go so far?

Christopher (08:59):

Yeah. I think that because of the limitation of what they can provide accommodation-wise, I’ve been thinking about my own ways to get around that, my own strategies. I’ve been spending a lot of time online, following different accounts of study tips, and learning how to get better study habits and almost researching that because I’ve never really been huge on actively learning how to study because I never really thought that’s something you had to do. But now I’m kind of invested in it because I know going to help me a lot in my upcoming academic journey.

Lindsay Guentzel (09:29):

Were you a good student growing up? Did school come easily for you?

Christopher (09:32):

No, it did not. I mean, I was good at art. That’s my biggest forte. I’m an artist, but not much else besides that. I really had to work for, and my grades weren’t stellar going through classes. I mean, I would get A’s, and B’s, C’s, but it was… I don’t know. I have like one of each grade pretty much every year.

Lindsay Guentzel (09:52):

What is it about art that is a driving passion for you?

Christopher (09:56):

I honestly think my issue is honestly a part of my art. Because I noticed when I was taking medication earlier in elementary school for a bit when I was trying out different medications after I’ve been diagnosed, it actually stunted my creative ability, so that led me to think that it’s almost intertwined. I think that it allows me to put my creativity in my head on paper, and that’s just a really fun, freeing thing to do. It’s good for the soul, the mind, that kind of stuff.

Lindsay Guentzel (10:24):

Can you describe… And I’m amazed that you said even at that young age you could feel like the medication was stunting you. It’s not a new concept. It’s something a lot of people talk about. What stood out to you, and what was it that when you were taking the medication you were feeling?

Christopher (10:41):

I was feeling almost a little too normal. Because with ADHD, I hadn’t really noticed this because it was my normal compared to other people, but a lot of stuff bouncing around in your head all the time. And when I was on the medication, I didn’t really have that. It was more straight, and logical, and just very normal. I almost didn’t like that in a way. I was used to something else. I noticed that in my art it is harder to come up with stuff and create new things that I liked. I noticed that very quick, and I almost preferred it off. But I’ve had newer medication that doesn’t do that, so I found stuff that works.

Lindsay Guentzel (11:19):

How has that process been for you going through a bunch of different types of medication? Because it takes a while to get on it and then see how it works in your life, and there’s the ebbs and the flows. I think for a lot of people it can be frustrating. I would love it if you could share a little bit more about that journey just because I think for a lot of people they get to what they think is a dead end. And for you, you found that dead end, but then were able to keep going at a certain point.

Christopher (11:43):

Yeah. I’ve been at a couple different dead ends because… I mean, I can’t really speak on my own personal experience with this a little bit because a lot is my parents doing all the backend work and fighting with doctors trying to get certain prescriptions and send them different places, but I was there for a lot of it to hear about it. I definitely know that it was a struggle to try different medications and have them not work very well or have adverse side effects.

(12:06):

I remember when I was coming off… Remember which one it was when I was in elementary school, but it would make me angry, so my mom had to deal with that. When I’d get home, I’d just be pissy after school. But we tried a bunch of different ones, one after the other. One worked a certain way, had strengths here and weaknesses there. But recently, I found some medication that works pretty well, and we’re trying different dosages still. That’s going to go into college, so we’re going to see how that goes.

Lindsay Guentzel (12:32):

You’ve mentioned a lot about the advocacy that your parents had to do for you, and that’s incredible that you have that diagnosis at such a young age. But I’m curious for you, when you look back at that time and you saw what was going on, what was that like for you as a kid? Because even though it wasn’t something you did or you were doing, you were in a sense causing stress in your parents’ life, and did you feel that?

Christopher (12:56):

Not really good.

Lindsay Guentzel (12:57):

Good. I mean, honestly, that’s the best answer it could be. I think for a lot of people they would internalize that, and I’m like, “Bravo. Good for you.”

Christopher (13:05):

I think normally I would. But I think a lot of my ADHD also helped me in a way, because it goes back to blissful ignorance thing. I was completely in my own world for… I had a point where it really hit me. The realization of what reality was really hit me in middle school, and that was really tough time to realize… I don’t know. Everything kind of came into perspective. But before that, I was just completely in my own world and I did not realize really what was going on school-wise or at home or whatever, so it was pretty nice.

Lindsay Guentzel (13:35):

I mean, that’s great. Blissful ignorance has its place, definitely. That makes me want to ask, because you seem so calm and collected about your diagnosis. I think one of the reasons that probably is because you’ve had it for so long, whereas a lot of the people that we talk to for the podcast have been diagnosed later in life. So there’s this period of life where they go, “If I had known…” And you’ve known all along and you’ve lived with it. When you see this influx of people talking about ADHD, whether it’s on social media, or in the news, or on podcasts, what is it like for you because it has been a part of your life for so long?

Christopher (14:12):

I think it’s different from person to person, but I think generally when it comes to the if I’ve known… or if-I-had-known statement, I mean, it changes some things. Because you could have tried to been on medication. You could have fought for accommodations or whatnot. But I think just through my own experiences through the public school system knowing it, it was still challenging. It was still hard. Even armed with that knowledge, it was hard to use it in an effective way in that system because they were not very flexible.

Lindsay Guentzel (14:44):

When you look at your life right now with your ADHD, what for you is the biggest struggle?

Christopher (14:51):

I think that’d still be school, honestly. Because in my personal life, I mean, it doesn’t affect me hugely in relationships or just day to day. I mean, yeah, I forget my keys or things like that, but I think at school, just like any kind of academic setting or structural settings. That might turn into work one day. But it’s adhering to that structure and maintaining a continuous focus, whether that be days, months, just staying on the grind and making sure I do everything right.

Lindsay Guentzel (15:19):

I love talking to an 18-year-old who hasn’t been in the workforce yet, like the world. I’m like, “Oh, just wait. Just wait.” That brings me to, what are you thinking about studying in college?

Christopher (15:31):

I switched a couple times. At first, I was going to do psychology, and that switched to then philosophy, which then switched to now business management. That was a pivot, but I think it was a good pivot.

Lindsay Guentzel (15:43):

And you have so much time that it can pivot still.

Christopher (15:45):

Yeah.

Lindsay Guentzel (15:46):

Yes.

Christopher (15:46):

I had a cousin who I think changed her major five times, so I’ve seen it done.

Lindsay Guentzel (15:51):

Oh, yes. No, I’m sure there are people listening who can maybe beat the five times, but yeah. That leads me to you’re in this flux period right now. High school has ended. Grade school is done, and you’re moving on to university. Where do you see yourself thriving?

Christopher (16:10):

If I was thriving right now, I would be in college, moving in, settled in, and starting classes hopefully without a hitch, getting good professors, good curriculum, and I feel comfortable with where I’m at, my roommate, the place, getting a map down, mental map of the canvas, all that kind of stuff. Just feeling comfortable where I’m at. Because I feel very uprooted right now moving. It’s a big change. I’ve never moved before myself. I think if I had to be thriving, I would be as comfortable as possible in [inaudible 00:16:40].

Lindsay Guentzel (16:40):

Where do you see yourself in this moment where you’re uprooted? What is going well in life?

Christopher (16:48):

I mean, I’m healthy.

Lindsay Guentzel (16:50):

You have a great mindset, honestly. Again, I go back to you’re so calm and thoughtful about your journey, and I think that is something to really take pride in.

Christopher (17:01):

Thank you. I appreciate that. I don’t know. I have good relationships with everyone in my life right now. There’s nothing uglier. No loose ends, really, so I feel comfortable leaving, as comfortable as you can be. I’m healthy. I’m doing okay, as okay as I can. I’m excited for the future.

Lindsay Guentzel (17:20):

Have you thought at all about what it’ll be like being on your own and creating structure for yourself?

Christopher (17:25):

Yeah. I’ve put a lot of thought into that, and a lot of anticipation, a lot of nervousness, a lot of thinking. But I think that’s something I’m going to have to take step by step and just see how it goes because I don’t really know where I’m going to be yet or where I’m at. I have to feel it out once I get there. But once I do get there… I’m excited to try and create that structure for myself for the first time, and hopefully it goes well.

Lindsay Guentzel (17:48):

What is giving you hope about this next phase of your journey? What is pushing you forward?

Christopher (17:54):

I think hope itself, I don’t know. It’s not necessarily based in anything. I’ve been able to do it before in some ways with just high school and college. Because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to rely more on my own independence, and I think college is just the next natural step as it is in school. As my independence and responsibilities grow, so it’ll grow to be as large as I need to be in college, hopefully be able to fill those shoes.

Lindsay Guentzel (18:19):

I want to take you back to school, and you mentioned getting pulled out of class and spending time with people who were like you. What do you remember of that time, and what stood out to you about those relationships you were able to build?

Christopher (18:32):

They were really good relationships because we kind of bonded over our… I mean, we all had different disabilities or just learning differences or whatever, or even personalities, honestly. Because I was in Chinese immersion, and they had a very strict academic culture in the academic… or in the immersion program, and that lended into a separate grouping made, even if you didn’t have a disability or learning difference. It was more of like a personality thing even. But it was all the kind of people who were very aloof, or spacey, or just chill people, usually based off of how they learn or difference they had. It was fun hanging out with those kind of kids. I wasn’t hanging out with all the squares who were getting A’s. Be with my people.

Lindsay Guentzel (19:16):

I was the square who was getting A’s.

Christopher (19:17):

Oh, okay.

Lindsay Guentzel (19:18):

But I was too afraid of getting anything other than an A. That’s a whole other topic. I want to wrap up by asking you what is something you wish people knew or understood better about ADHD.

Christopher (19:30):

I think the biggest thing I wish people understood is that… Well, for those people who may not have it, talking about how you think you have it all the time just because you miss one assignment is kind of annoying, but it’s like whatever.

Lindsay Guentzel (19:48):

It’s using it as an adjective.

Christopher (19:51):

Yeah. I don’t really say anything when it happens because I don’t really care, but I guess it’s like…

Lindsay Guentzel (19:57):

It diminishes what we’ve all gone through.

Christopher (19:59):

And I hear someone with all A’s complaining about it. I mean, that’d be great if I could get the grades you do and still have it. Besides that, I think the actual biggest thing that I personally really have a lot of stock in and care about is that having ADHD is not the laziness personality trait. It’s not like someone choosing to be lazy, or choosing to miss their work, or choosing to ignore important things, or just care less in general. I think that’s been attributed to more of a personality trait than a condition, and I’ve seen that. A lot of my teachers treat it that way, and I’ve been through that, so I wish people would… Or usually older people who don’t understand it as well would start to understand that.

Lindsay Guentzel (20:38):

Well, Christopher, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for sharing your story. We wish you the best of luck. I have to applaud you because even just thinking about the fact that you’re going to be on your own and you have to create structures was something that never even passed my mind, so you are light years ahead of where I was when I stepped foot out of my parents’ house many, many years ago. I’m very excited for you. I hope we can catch up as the year goes on and hear how things are going, so I really appreciate you coming on.

Christopher (21:08):

Thank you for having me and allowing me to share my experiences. I appreciate that.

Lindsay Guentzel (21:17):

Christopher and I sat down to chat just days before he left for college. Because we’ve exchanged a few emails, I know school is going well, but it is busy. I’m hoping we can connect with Christopher for our show on November 13th. I’m really looking forward to hearing how the first couple of months have been going and what he’s learning about himself and his ADHD in the college setting.

(21:41):

One thing Christopher mentioned in our conversation that might sound new to you is the 504 plan he had growing up. A 504 plan allows adjustments and modifications to be made to a student’s educational program to ensure that they have equal access to the curriculum and are not discriminated against. It’s different than an IEP, an individualized education plan, which is more comprehensive and focuses on a student’s academic goals and objectives.

(22:13):

Someone with ADHD might not qualify for an IEP, but might qualify for a 504 plan, which would provide support to the student in the setting of a classroom. For ADHDers, that might look like extra time for assignments or tests, breaks during the school day to allow for movement and exercise, access to fidget toys or stress balls, and sitting closer to the teacher. ADHD Online has a great resource called Understanding IEPs and 504 plans for ADHD, which we’ll link for you in the show notes.

(22:50):

Another thing Christopher talked about that I completely related to was the struggle an ADHDer can face with a transition to college. These were my top three, and I have a feeling there might be a few listeners out there who would also agree.

(23:06):

Number one, college courses are more demanding than high school courses. The workload can be overwhelming for anyone, but particularly for those with ADHD who may struggle with organization and time management. The new environment was also overwhelming with more distractions and less structure than high school. And once the novelty of the newness wore off, I had a really hard time staying motivated.

(23:33):

Number two, college also requires a lot of independent work and self-motivation. On a good day, it was still a struggle to stay focused and motivated without the external struggle and support that I had in high school. This was particularly challenging when it came to long-term projects and assignments. I was also living on my own for the first time in a really cool city, and I wanted to do all the fun things, most of the time forgetting what I was actually there for, which was school.

(24:06):

And number three, college social skills were on a totally different level than what I was used to in high school. I had already spent years struggling with friendships, but then I found myself in a place where everyone is trying to figure out who they are outside of the life they were wrapped up in until they stepped foot on campus. Trying to find my people was an added task with a whole lot of stress I was not prepared for.

(24:34):

I like that Christopher was actively thinking about what he would need to make the transition to college easier for him, like acknowledging that he needed to learn how to study, something he hadn’t had to do much of in high school. I’ll be honest, I am not the person who should be giving anyone advice on college. What not to do, that I can handle. But there are a few things I saw my friends and classmates do that seemed to really help them stay on track. One of the biggest, establishing a routine and sticking to it. Not only does it help with time management and organization, it also gave them windows of time to go for a run or go to the gym, which are both great for helping with the stress that inevitably comes as a new college student.

(25:23):

Looking back, I probably would’ve sought out support services on campus way more. I say it all the time, we don’t know what we don’t know. But I do know now that many colleges have resources for students with ADHD, like tutoring, coaching, and counseling. These services can provide some fantastic support and structure to ADHDers in college. It doesn’t matter which semester or year you’re in, support services are available. And they’re likely services you are paying for already with your tuition, so it’s a no-brainer to use them.

(26:01):

I also know now that college was simply too much for me. And honestly, that entire experience is where a lot of my ADHD grief lives. I was not prepared to handle anything. And while I had lots of people convinced I was not only capable of handling it all, I was handling it all. I wish more had been done to prepare me for the experience. There was lots of shopping for my dorm room, but not much else. I also should have never taken an off-campus job. Just so much distraction and hyper-focusing on the wrong thing.

(26:39):

Again, we didn’t know, but now we do. While I don’t have the perfect solution for you, whether you’re a college student or the parent of one, I do know one thing, you got to talk. It’s one of my biggest regrets not opening up about how hard everything felt until it was too late. I thought I was just supposed to get it. And because I wasn’t getting it, I felt really, really terrible about myself, and so I did whatever I could to hide it.

(27:09):

I’m so grateful to Christopher for sharing his story here with us on Refocused, Together, and I’m so excited to learn how this next chapter is going for him. As I mentioned, we’ll have an update on how freshman year is going after we’ve wrapped Refocused, Together during a special follow-up episode on November 13th.

(27:27):

If you’re in college right now, we’d love to hear from you. We’d love to know what’s working and what’s not. How is the transition going, and what are you doing differently this year to help make the workload a little bit more manageable? You can pop over to Instagram, @RefocusedPod, or send us an email, [email protected]. We’ll be back tomorrow with another brand new episode for this year’s Refocused, Together. In the meantime, if you haven’t already, make sure to subscribe to Refocused wherever you listen so you don’t miss a single episode.

(28:04):

And for all of my friends out there still carrying around that grief from our college days, I get it. It’s tough and consuming. So please, if this conversation brought back any of those terrible feelings, I hope you’ll be extra kind to yourself. We were all doing the best that we could.

(28:27):

Support for Refocused comes from our partner ADHD Online, a telemedicine mental health care company that provides affordable and accessible ADHD assessments and treatment plan. To learn how they can help you on your journey, head to a adhdonline.com. And remember to use the promo code REFOCUSED20 to receive $20 off your ADHD online assessment right now.

(29:00):

The biggest thanks go out to our team at ADHD Online, Keith Boswell, Suzanne Pruitt, Melanie Mile, Claudia Gotti, and Tricia Merchant Dunny for their constant support in helping make Refocused, Together happen. These 31 episodes were produced thanks to our managing editor, Sarah Platanitis, our production coordinator, Phil Roderman, social media specialist and editor, Al Chaplin, and me, the host and executive producer of Refocused, Lindsay Guentzel. To connect with the show on social media, you can find us online, @RefocusedPod, and you can email the show directly, [email protected]. That’s [email protected].