Katy Weber (00:00):

I have a lot more generous relationship with asking for support and help. And like I always say to my clients, I’m like, the first question when it comes to anything is, who could I get to do this for me? Which is never a question I ever would’ve asked pre ADHD because I always sort of felt like I had to prove myself in some way.

Lindsay Guentzel (00:22):

Hello, I am Lindsay Guentzel. I’m the host and executive producer of Refocused. And that voice you just heard, that’s Katy Weber, another member of the Later in Life ADHD Diagnosis Club, as well as a fellow journalist turned podcaster. Katy is the creator of the incredibly popular and totally relatable Women and ADHD podcast. She’s also one of the voices we are going to share with you this month for Refocused Together, the special series we created for ADHD Awareness month where we share a different person’s ADHD story every day throughout the month of October.

(00:58):

So that little every day throughout the month of October part, that’s why I’m here. Our remaining episodes for Refocused Together, we are reorganizing their release dates. Like episode 13, Katy Weber, and Wrapping It Up In A Bow Of Four Letters. I’m going to ask that you pencil that one in for your Monday morning commute.

(01:21):

We are taking the weekend off and we might need to take some more days off as the month goes on. And of course when I say we, I mean me. I’m the one that needs to take some time off. I absolutely hate that we are here for a variety of reasons, but I need to slow down and take a pause. All health related, my physical health, my body is just not in a good place right now. My dermatomyositis flare up is large and in charge and my mobility has deteriorated so much over the last week to the point where I’m using my arms to lift my legs, and even worse, I’m using my arms to lift my arms.

(02:04):

Thursday night I was texting with my managing editor, Sarah Platanitis. She’s been someone I’ve been able to rely on for mental support these last few months, outside of the incredible work she’s doing for the podcast. And she asked me, “What are you doing tonight to take care of yourself?” Honestly, right now, I need so much help taking care of myself. Making food, taking showers, getting dressed, getting myself in and out of bed. There’s little energy for anything else. So as I was getting ready for bed a few hours later, I realized all I had done that night was work on the podcast. Well, work and watch baseball, but still I was working all night. Because this podcast, this is a part of my self-care. I love it so much. It fulfills me in a way I did not know was possible. And then I realized that rushing these episodes right now will only make me feel worse because this wasn’t in my plan.

(03:06):

I think one of the reasons why I’ve avoided this moment is because despite the fact that I’ve done nothing wrong, I still feel like a failure. All those years of taking on too much and procrastinating and rushing to get things done at the last minute so I wouldn’t let anyone down. I realized that’s what’s been holding me back from saying that I need a break right now. You know what is probably the most frustrating part of this, is I did everything right, my team did everything right, but we were up against impossible circumstances. An incurable disease that landed me in the hospital for 18 days last month and has taken away my ability to do even the simplest of things like drive a car.

(03:49):

And while I am so disappointed to have to slow down this project, not cancel, not end, just slow down this project. I’m still so proud because we were so close. With everything my team has worked through these last few months, with all of the interviews we had to cancel and reschedule. Some we’re still working to reschedule, having nearly three weeks where it was nearly impossible for me to record anything because I was living in one of the noisiest environments ever. We were so close, which can only mean one thing. Growth. Even right now having to pause these episodes, and despite everything I have going on, I am in such a better place than I was last year. And that’s because we put in so much work. And that is something to be celebrated.

(04:41):

It’s funny because on Tuesday, I did an Instagram live with Trina Haynes, our guest for October 10th. And she was stressing out because she was feeling ADHD burnout and the only workaround she was finding to help her was canceling all of the extra things she had signed on for. And I was straight up cheering her on, making sure she knew that she didn’t have to apologize to anyone. That she needed to take care of herself. Here’s me taking my own advice. As John helped me into bed last night, I told him, “Make sure you remind me of this decision in the morning,” because I knew I was going to backtrack. And sure enough, as I opened my eyes and I checked the clock and I saw that if I got up, it was 5:00 AM, I would totally be able to finish Katy’s episode and get it out in the morning for you guys. But as I said, rushing these episodes will just make me feel worse, and it’s not fair to you guys or to my team or the incredible guests who have shared their stories with us.

(05:41):

We have so many incredible stories still to come this month, like Katy’s and our coordinating producer, Phil Roderman. And we may release more than one on some days to play catch up or we’ll let October roll into November. I mean us ADHDers, a lot of us have an issue with time anyway, right? Jokes aside, I know so many of you are thinking, about time, Lindsay. I just feel really lucky to be in a place where my entire team and my partners at ADHD Online are behind me 100% because I know we’ve all been in situations where we haven’t been supported and there is nothing worse than that.

(06:20):

If you are one of the amazing listeners who has reached out to ask, how can I help? You can help by sharing these episodes. Somehow through all of this, we are still creating what I consider to be our best work. And the only way that these episodes can help more people is if they hear them. If you’re a longtime listener, and I know you are out there because I see you coming back week after week, and you haven’t left us a rating or a review yet, take a second right now. Like, right now. Pause this and do it so you don’t forget. And head over to whatever streaming platform you listen to us on and leave us five stars or a nice little message about why you love Refocused.

(07:00):

In the meantime, as my life is controlled by this really terrible disease and things continue to sit in flux, we’ll be updating you on our Instagram @refocusedpod, as well as over on ADHD social channels as well about when you can expect episodes to be coming out. While I’m not happy about any of this, it feels like a pretty amazing lesson to actually be learning and growing through right now, and how awesome that I get to share it with you all in real time during ADHD Awareness month. That’s my positive spin on that. So enjoy your weekend and we’ll see you back here Monday morning, bright-eyed and bushy tailed for episode 13 of Refocused Together, Katy Weber and Wrapping It Up In A Bow Of Four Letters. And please, now more than ever, be kind to yourself.