Transcript
Marc Almodovar (00:03):
Super fun to be here. My name is Marc Almodovar. I am a speaker. I’m a coach for men with ADHD. I get great joy from sharing content that’s very open and honest and relatable to a lot of some of the ups and downs that many of us men experience. I’m the founder and I run the biggest online support group for men with ADHD, ADHD Men’s Support Group. We’re right around the corner to hitting 13,000 members and growing consistently, and I’m very excited about that.
(00:37):
Out of all the things that I do, I look at myself as somebody who provides a safe space for people who are like me and resources and tools needed for them to thrive. It’s super fun to be here, and I’m excited to get wherever we get into today.
Lindsay Guentzel (01:07):
Welcome back to Refocused with Lindsay Guentzel. What you’re listening to today, it’s a little bit different than the podcast episodes we’ve shared with you before. This episode, this person’s story is a part of Refocused, Together, a special series the team at ADHD Online and I have been working on for ADHD Awareness Month. Every day throughout the month of October, we’ll be sharing a different person’s ADHD story, which is fitting because the theme for ADHD Awareness Month this year is understanding a shared experience, and I can’t think of a better way to really get a sense of that shared experience than by telling a different story every single day. And to be clear, yes, that’s 31 stories in 31 days.
(01:55):
My name is Lindsay Guentzel and along with a team at ADHD Online, I’m so excited to present Refocused, Together, a collection of stories aimed at raising awareness on just how complex ADHD is and the different ways it shows up in people’s lives. When we share stories, it’s easier to find the perspective, ideas, and tips that help us live our best lives. I’m interviewing people with bearing backgrounds, diagnoses, experiences, and perspectives. We’ll hear from working parents, advocates, engineers, writers, PhD candidates, and more to learn that while we may be different, we are all united by our own ADHD journeys.
(02:42):
This special project is very near and dear to my heart. And although talking to 31 different people has been a lot of talking, I am so grateful for each person who shared their story with me. I cannot wait for you to meet my guests and get to know them. Be sure to subscribe to Refocus with Lindsay Guentzel so that you don’t miss a single story this month. And with that, let’s get on to today’s episode. Marc, I’m so excited to chat with you today. I think what you’re doing for the community of men with ADHD is so important, and it’s just really changing the narrative and providing that support and that safe space.
(03:27):
You obviously know that the more we talk about this and we talk about the way ADHD shows up in our lives, the more people we’re helping. Thank you for that and thank you for joining us on Refocused, Together.
Marc Almodovar (03:39):
Thank you so much.
Lindsay Guentzel (03:40):
I ask all of my guests to go back to kind of their diagnosis origin story, so to speak. If you want to go back to life before you were diagnosed and what led to you seeking out an assessment?
Marc Almodovar (03:56):
My entire life, I always knew that I was a little bit different than everyone else. I remember in report cards it would say things like, “Marc is there, but not really there.” Looking back at my childhood photos even, I mean, I’m usually distracted and in my own world. I was the kid with sloppy handwriting, disorganized desks, all those type of things. I always knew there was a little bit of a difference in me. Because when things didn’t manage to capture my interest, they didn’t have my interest at all. But when there was something that I did genuinely like, it wasn’t just a focus, it was an above and beyond hyper focus, nonstop thinking about it type of thing.
(04:41):
That’s always been me. But it wasn’t up until I was 16 years old that I actually had gotten the diagnosis. I was struggling with my mental health, had a lot of social anxiety, was just really unsure of who I was. And that led to me getting some support from some mental health professionals. I got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD with a little bit of hyperactivity in there. For me, that moment was almost like a confirmation of what I already intuitively kind of knew, that there was something a little bit different about how my brain works.
(05:22):
At that moment, it was just the affirmation that my brain works a little bit differently. Now it’s just about finding the tools that are needed for you to thrive and do well for yourself in this world.
Lindsay Guentzel (05:34):
What were some of the immediate changes you made after getting your diagnosis? You mentioned it’s just so important to know how your brain works so that you can change things and figure out a way that you can function at the highest level possible in a world that’s not built for you. What was that like?
Marc Almodovar (05:54):
I mean, the immediate thing for me was definitely the feeling less crazy thing. That was helpful because my whole life I just felt that I was doing something wrong, but what was really going on is I just didn’t have the tools that I needed to do well for myself and take action and all that stuff. I did get some help right away, but it wasn’t anything tremendous. It wasn’t until really years later that I actually started to take my ADHD really seriously and just started prioritizing the need for support and tools that I needed to thrive.
(06:36):
I think one of the biggest changes for me was that I let go of this idea, and I’m still letting go of it right now, of this idea of me having to do things all on my own and having to just struggle with something and figure it out all about myself. Letting go of that idea and understanding that it’s not just okay and acceptable for me to get help, but it’s quite needed and it’s quite normal. Breaking down that ideology was a tremendous help for me because there’s a lot of humility in that. A lot of men struggle with that decision altogether of saying they need help when they need it.
(07:22):
There’s breaking down that area too, but really just… I would say the first big step for me was building a sense of comfort of knowing that it’s okay to be in a broken spot and reaching out for help is 100% a good idea.
Lindsay Guentzel (07:40):
I’m always curious to hear, because I’ve interviewed so many different people, I mean, talking in age range from 14 to late fifties. When you were diagnosed, what was your idea of what ADHD was like? In that moment, what came to mind? Because I think we all have such an outdated idea of what it is, but it’s also been interesting to hear how we all view it.
Marc Almodovar (08:11):
I always thought of it as just the hyperactive, non-stop talking kid in school, troublemaker, all that type of stuff. I actually didn’t align with that way of thinking of what ADHD was because in school I never caused any issues. You know what I mean? My mom always told me about myself as a child that I was never somebody who cause any type of trouble or anything like that. I was pretty quiet for a good amount of my life. My initial thought was that ADHD was just one thing, right? A lot I’ve learned is that… I mean, there is a little bit of hyperactivity in me. I’m sitting on this chair right now, but I’m definitely fidgeting.
(08:58):
You know what I mean? I like to keep busy and stuff like that. But most of my hyperactivity exists in my mind. That’s where the 100 miles an hour brain is really working. It was a way of thinking about ADHD that was accurate to a degree, but it wasn’t the whole picture. I never thought of it as the person who was distracted all day long to answer your question.
Lindsay Guentzel (09:30):
The reason I ask is I was having this conversation with another guest for Refocused, Together and we were talking about the idea that we felt kind of epitomized ADHD from our childhood. I’m a little bit older than you, and I hate admitting this, but when I was a kid, the people who got help in class or were diagnosed with ADHD, at the time ADD, and we all knew it, they were put into this dumb category. They were put into a less than category. The reason I bring this up is your idea of help. Getting help is so important.
(10:10):
I would’ve been such a better student had I been more open to getting help, but we have this negative connotation on it. If you ask for help, it’s implying that you aren’t capable, which is not the case. It’s really the only way to make it to that next step. Once you start to acknowledge and accept that, I mean, it’s just a game changer, but we aren’t prepared to do that.
Marc Almodovar (10:39):
That’s the whole thing too is that there’s not just resources and plenty of information out there for you, but there’s also… This is where I come in and this is where I fall in love with my work and all that type of stuff. There’s also people out there who relate a lot to your journey, who have accomplished some of the things that you seek to accomplish and are more than willing to relate to you. On top of that, be that additional support system for you to get out of whatever difficult situation you’re experiencing. It’s part of being human. We’re social creatures.
(11:19):
We’re here to help each other out. ADHD is incredibly challenging, right? There’s no need to go through it on your own. You might as well go through it listening to amazing podcasts like this one, being on a great support group, all that type of stuff. That’s how we really get from point A to point B.
Lindsay Guentzel (11:41):
I think every conversation I’ve had with people, I’ve learned something new. That’s coming from somebody who hosts a podcast about ADHD. Granted it’s a new podcast and I have a newer diagnosis, but it is so complex. The way ADHD shows up in everyone’s lives is so different. It’s also something that ebbs and flows. You may not have a connection to rejection sensitive dysphoria, and then one day you do. There’s things that come and go. I’m curious, when you look at how ADHD has shown up in your life, what are some of the things that are complex for you and are challenges and are things that you’re working through?
Marc Almodovar (12:30):
I would say the biggest thing for me has unquestionably been my confidence. It’s kind of growing up in a world where you are operating the way that we do in a society in which does not operate the way that we do. We are constantly exposed to our what we’ll call “shortfalls.” From time management issues to what I mentioned on my report card that Marc is never paying attention, all that type of stuff, this leads to a lot of struggles with confidence. A lot of my work has been most definitely putting tools in place like getting adequate sleep, exercise, Pomodoro Techniques, all that type of stuff.
(13:23):
That’s been helpful. But a lot of my work and a lot of my struggles have been within my confidence. What I’ve had to do the work of with the support of therapists and coaches and all that is understanding what my strengths are, understanding how I operate, how to navigate this world with my brain and pay bills on time and all that type of stuff, yes, but it’s been a lot of self-awareness of what I’m good at and putting myself in environments in which my strengths work for me. To answer your question, it’s building self-esteem, knowing that my strengths have a place in this world. It’s definitely been getting support in the areas that I don’t naturally thrive in.
(14:14):
I’m not going to remember to pay my bills, so shout out to automatic payments. Things like that have been really helpful for me. And then just connecting with other people and showing up in environments as myself as opposed to who I’ve always felt that I needed to be. Definitely seeking out and having friendships in which people actually accept me for who I am as opposed to someone that I’m not. You know what I mean? A lot of my life has consisted a lot of people pleasing and wanting to be this certain type of person.
(15:03):
For me, one of the things that’s changed a lot in the past two, three years is, number one, as I’m showing up to this podcast and I’m showing up to any social situation, you’re getting me, right? You’re not getting anyone else. You’re getting me. And an understanding that if somebody has a problem with that, that’s their problem. The people that accept me, these are the people that I want. That make sense?
Lindsay Guentzel (15:24):
Totally.
Marc Almodovar (15:24):
Went on a bit of a tangent there, but.
Lindsay Guentzel (15:26):
No, I mean, it’s just so funny, I should have made a chart of every person who said that in these interviews because it’s, “I went off on a tangent, or that was a really long answer.” It’s like, no, that’s what I want. I think that’s when the truth comes out is when we just speak freely.
Marc Almodovar (15:47):
Yeah, most definitely. A big thing for me is, getting into the people pleasing thing because I know a lot of us can relate to that, for me, it’s been a lot of work of just being intentional. Even as I’m asking myself, one of the things I’ll face even doing this interview right now is this thought of I have to display myself as this perfect ADHD coach who’s got all… Can I curse?
Lindsay Guentzel (16:14):
Please.
Marc Almodovar (16:15):
Okay, cool. This perfect ADHD coach who’s got all his shit together and knows all the do’s and don’ts and the perfect ADHD hack and the perfect answer to all your questions and all that type of stuff. But my work to this day, and I progress in this and I still got some work to do, has been asking myself, am I showing up as myself right now who has tons of great value and is amazing and all that? Or am I showing up as a person that I feel that Lindsay needs me to be?
(16:48):
That’s a powerful intentional question for me to pivot back into just being me. Because my whole idea is, is that, listen, you can learn all the ADHD hacks and tools and everything like that, you can Google a good amount of this stuff, but my whole work is I want to build the ability of ADHD men and ADHD in general for us to look at ourselves in the mirror and accept and be proud of what we see and not trying to make us “normal.”
Lindsay Guentzel (17:21):
One of the commonalities that I’ve heard with all of the people I’ve talked to, there must be something about ADHD, and maybe it’s not even tied to the actual breakdown of what ADHD is, and maybe it’s more tied to all of the things that we’ve all gone through, but everyone is incredibly empathetic and wants to help in whatever capacity that looks like for them. It’s been interesting to talk to everyone about the different ways that they’re doing that.
(17:47):
The way you are doing that is focusing in on men specifically with ADHD. Tell me a little bit about the motivation behind building that community and the evolution that you’ve seen, because I imagine your numbers are growing the more we talk about things and the more people seek out diagnoses and assessments and all of that stuff.
Marc Almodovar (18:10):
About four or five years ago when I had started making content for people with ADHD and getting myself out there as a coach, I was just speaking about ADHD in general, talking about my own journey. I made some really great connections, got to work alongside some amazing other content creators and leaders in this community and all that. But as I was building my name for myself and getting to know everyone, I’d started to realize that although boys and men are so commonly diagnosed with ADHD, very few of us, at least at that time, are actually doing something about it. There wasn’t any support groups or dedicated resources out there for men.
(18:58):
We struggle quite a lot with experiencing an issue and talking about it. A lot of that has to do with some old traditional ways of thinking of masculinity, where if we have an issue, we’re less of a man, all that type of stuff. I thought to myself, how cool would it be to have a dedicated support group of men with ADHD filled with people who will do things like get interviewed and totally forget what the question was and all that type of stuff, people who relate to us and where we can be ourselves. It started off as a small little Facebook group and we had a little community for a while. Once the pandemic hit, the need for mental health support just kind of skyrocketed and our group grew tremendously.
(19:50):
We started doing things like biweekly Zoom meetings. We have a podcast. We’re on Discord, all that type of stuff. We’re about to make a really big change to the group, which I can’t wait to go public about soon. But basically the intention is to provide a safe space for men to actually talk about the issues so that we can learn what to do about it and be more stronger and competent as men with ADHD, as opposed to bottling up our emotions and our problems as if they don’t exist.
Lindsay Guentzel (20:24):
I’d be interested to know your perspective as a man of color who also has ADHD. I know that one of the other men who helps run the group is also BIPOC. And that to me speaks volumes about the fact that you are already in a minority group, but you have both taken it upon yourselves to become this safe space. I’m wondering if you can touch a little bit on the cultural aspect to being a man who is also a minority and then who has ADHD and it kind of feels like it’s just being layered upon you, these ideologies or stereotypes from society.
Marc Almodovar (21:05):
It’s definitely a whole journey of its own, no doubt about it. I mean, I can’t speak on anything else other than what it was like growing up in a Puerto Rican and Cuban household, but I will say that there’s still a lot of learning and education of the fact that ADHD even exists in the first place. It’s something that lot of our traditional households tends to deny. We don’t take it seriously. Especially for men, it is a lot of just get over it, if you’re experiencing a mental health issue or just apply yourself more, which makes every ADHDer’s eyes roll. There’s a lot of need for education.
(21:57):
But it feels good to have received those words of acknowledgement from me because that’s part of the intention of my friend John and I, where we actually start to be the voice and be the advocates and start to educate. You know what I mean? Because it’s important that people who look like us understand that, number one, acting as if your problems don’t exist or acting as if it’s not a big deal isn’t going to be what helps you grow further in life. The first thing to solving the problem is recognizing that the problem is there. When I look at Hispanic and Latino communities, there’s a lot of need for recognition that ADHD is a big deal.
Lindsay Guentzel (22:38):
Well, I appreciate all that you guys are doing. I think it’s just so important. I think as we continue, we’re not obviously post-pandemic by any means of the imagination, but a lot of people have started to return to work, and I think the numbers are just going to continue to increase. I was trying to describe this the other night, but it really feels like… And again, I don’t know if it’s that I’m hyper focused on ADHD in the midst of ADHD Awareness Month, but I’ll be out in public and I’ll be with people who are neurotypical and they’ll ask about the podcast or they’ll comment on something that I have shared on social media and then they’ll continue the conversation like, “Oh, I work with someone who was just diagnosed, or I was dating somebody who was going through the process.”
(23:22):
It feels like we’re in this strange area where the awareness is actually being increased. I don’t know if you see it too. And again, I go back to the like, are we just so tunnel visioned on it? But that experience of being out with people who would never have brought it up if I wasn’t doing the podcast. It’s not that they’re just asking about it like, “Hey, you’re doing this thing. How’s it going?” They then continue the conversation and they want to add in their two cents or their experience. And that to me speaks volumes.
Marc Almodovar (23:54):
Yeah, no, and it’s going to keep going that way with more and more people doing the advocacy and work that’s needed. You know what I mean? That’s the importance of vulnerability and honesty amongst us advocates, right? Whenever we’re having a Zoom meeting in our group and one of our members shares openly and honestly about something that’s hard about… I don’t know. One example is someone will have feelings for a girl and she ghosted him and disappeared and he’s feeling insecure about it, but he shares it publicly, and there’s another member who’s nodding their head and relating and listening, and they feel so much more comfortable sharing about it now too.
(24:44):
It’s this ripple effect of, I guess, both awareness, to your point, and then comfort and safety about the issues that a lot of people who are like us experience. It’s growing and it’s only going to continue to with people sharing meaningful content and doing work like yourself.
Lindsay Guentzel (25:06):
I want to ask you, I know you know were diagnosed and it took a little while for you to dive into focusing on the advocacy side and taking your ADHD into account. What have you changed in your life to make you a better functioning human? You mentioned sleep. You mentioned exercise. But as a coach, you’re running the show. I’m wondering how you structure things so that it’s as easy as possible for you to be successful.
Marc Almodovar (25:32):
What is this word structure that you speak of? I’m very unfamiliar with it. I like the term structure. For me, it’s funny. The biggest thing for me is not putting myself in a position in which I have to be the most organized, most administrative person. I don’t know. I’m in a position in which I’m spending all day reviewing texts with no images and videos and all that type of stuff. I would not thrive in that, and that would be really hard for me. For me, it’s having awareness of what my strengths are. I’m a heck of a leader. I’m a great community person. I do pretty well in public speaking, all that stuff.
(26:17):
Putting myself in a position in which I can actually utilize my strength to not spend so much time trying to be good at something that I’m not, that’s the key thing for a lot of people with ADHD. If you look at a lot of successful ADHDers, one common trait that almost all of them have is that they put themselves in places in which their strengths can make the money, and they’re doing something that they enjoy at the same time. I would say that’s the biggest thing. And then the other thing too is also outsourcing. In my ADHD Men’s Support Group, I have team members who are quite organized and love administrative stuff and do that part of the role, where I’m focusing on my strength.
(27:02):
It’s putting myself in a position of, again, where I’m doing what I’m good at, and then working with others in areas that I don’t do so well. That’s a small summary, but.
Lindsay Guentzel (27:18):
Was letting people in to accept that help and let go of it, was that hard?
Marc Almodovar (27:26):
I’m trying to think. Was it hard? There’s a little bit of humility to it. Like, why am I not the one who’s great with all this? But it became less hard when I see it in action and I’m practical. When I see that my group is operating to the best of its capabilities and I’m able to do a show like this, knowing somebody else is going to be administrating and moderating and helping out and everything like that, it became less hard seeing that come into place, most definitely. On top of that too… I forgot what I was going to say. I’m not going to lie. I don’t know where I was going to go with that. Okay, now I remember.
(28:25):
But on top of that too, there’s nothing wrong with somebody struggling with their vision and throwing on a pair of glasses to see properly. The same rule applies to life with ADHD. You know what I mean? There are traits like disorganization and time management that we struggle with and we may need additional support here. We may need some accommodations. We may need some reminders here and there, and that’s okay. It’s the same way as it’s okay to put on a pair of glasses to see better.
Lindsay Guentzel (29:02):
I’m wondering, when you look at life and all that you’ve created and all that you’re continuing to create, which I’m very excited to learn more about once the time comes, where do you see yourself thriving and what’s getting you up every day?
Marc Almodovar (29:18):
Three, four years ago, I thought that that answer would be one-on-one coaching. I thought that was going to be my full thing. I still like it. It’s something I have fun with, but I’ve fallen in love with community building. I love hosting event spaces. I love sharing openly and honestly and seeing other men relate to my situation and everything like that. I see myself as doing a lot of community work. There’s already a game plan in place we’re going to be executing on. But a lot more in person, online events where I can provide an open, safe, and educational space for men with ADHD on all the different things that we struggle with.
(30:05):
We’re talking relationships. We’re talking our competence, boundaries, and workplace, all these things. We’re planning on getting into all of it. For me, I do see myself as informative and educational in these areas, but I see myself as a really, really great community builder and host and that type of stuff. I mean, it just excites me so much. I can’t wait to do more of it.
Lindsay Guentzel (30:37):
You think big, obviously.
Marc Almodovar (30:38):
Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, no, but we’re talking worldwide like New York City, like Ohio. It’s going to be a lot to it. I’m so thankful to have other group members who are going to be supporting and working on this.
Lindsay Guentzel (30:50):
I love that. Sometimes it feels very hard when you spend a lot of time with neurotypical people. I have a lot of friends who are very successful in the line of work that they’ve gone into, but there’s a path that they followed. They’re a teacher, they became an accountant, and there were steps along the way. What I love about connecting with people who have ADHD is it’s like there’s no plan. There’s no step-by-step process. We dream big and we figure out how to get it done. I think one of the things that I love that you touched on is being vulnerable about talking about the things that are hard and the things that are work and figuring out how to be honest with ourselves about that situation.
(31:36):
But it’s also such a great reminder to know that you’re doing all of this work for a community who gets it. If you drop a ball, I get that and I know what that feels like and I know the shame and the regret and all the things that come with that, when you start to internalize that and you go, “Oh my gosh, these are the most accepting people for me to be doing this with. This is where I should be growing because we all get it.”
Marc Almodovar (32:03):
Yeah, most definitely. I mean, I forgot what I was saying during this interview. It was very strategic on that end, because I knew that was bound to happen in my career, so I was like, “I got to work with people with ADHD because they’re going to get me.” It feels good. But on top of that too, it’s healing work. Like I said, I mean, when we are growing up living life with ADHD, we feel as if we’re crazy. We feel alone. It’s like half the battle is building up that self-confidence and self-esteem, right? Putting yourself out there, it’s brave work. I’m happy to be doing it and to know that there’s anybody that has benefited from hearing my story, that excites me like nothing else.
Lindsay Guentzel (32:58):
There is something about that, man. I got to tell you, I’m in the midst of 31 episodes and the days that have been really hard, I always go back to the kind things people have said, because I think we’ve all been in that scenario where you don’t know what it is and you don’t know how to change it and it’s so isolating. When you’re surrounded by people who are doing what you can’t figure out, you just feel less than. To take that away from somebody, even just a little bit, is so powerful.
Marc Almodovar (33:33):
It’s heroic. I’m honored to be part of it.
Lindsay Guentzel (33:37):
Good. I’m glad that you said that because I know I struggle with diminishing that like, oh yeah, but no. I’m like, Marc, what you’re doing is so important because I do think we’re our own worst enemies. We can go from the highest high and five minutes later just be taken down.
Marc Almodovar (33:56):
Yeah, no, yeah. Like I said, I’m on the journey to building my own self-confidence here, and I’ve come a long way, but I’m still growing here. But I remember telling myself that I was going to share a post very openly and honestly about a… Basically it was somebody that I had… I’m not going to get into the whole thing now, but it was a relationship that I had that didn’t work out, still have feelings for the person, found out this person was with somebody else. I shared about it openly and honestly in detail. Obviously not sharing the other person’s name or anything like that, but talking about at least the experience in my end.
(34:45):
First of all, I felt good to get that off my chest. Second off, there’s comments in that post that I screenshotted saying, “Dude, I’ve never related to a piece of content ever in my life. Thank you for sharing this openly. I know I’m not the only one.” It really feels great and that’s part of my inspiration to keep going and keep building.
Lindsay Guentzel (35:08):
I want to ask you, when you look at the future and what’s on the horizon, and obviously I say that knowing that there’s a big announcement coming, so I don’t expect you to divulge any big secrets, but what are you really looking forward to when it comes to continuing to build this community that you’ve invested so much time into?
Marc Almodovar (35:30):
What I’m looking to build is towards a common problem that we’ve come across in our group, where after a three hour long Zoom meeting discussing rejection sensitivity and members relating a lot to it, where people have been saying, “This was really great. I’ve never felt so understood and accepted in my life. Now I just wish I had more of this in person.” What we’re looking to go more towards is just furthering our ability to connect with people that are like you, building friendships, networking, all that type of stuff.
(36:16):
We’ve already seen what a benefit a sense of understanding has been amongst our community members, but how cool would it be to have your friend nearby who you can meet up and get coffee with at 4:00 PM and talk about some of the things that you’ve been going through and have that in person aspect, as well as an online thing. You know what I mean? We’re going that route. We’re looking at workshops, speaking events, music. I know one thing that I’m going to be doing publicly is as I’m building towards this, I’m going to be documenting a lot of my process as I go through this and vlogging and all that type of stuff.
(36:55):
I’m pumped about that. There will be a lot more to share for me in the future. But the idea is to double down on the fact that as men with the ADHD, that we are not alone and have friendships, people who genuinely accept you for you and encourage you. You have two people who are working on the same journey and encouraging each other throughout it. You know what I mean? That is a huge, huge healing factor that all of us are worthy of. I’m excited to provide more of it.
Lindsay Guentzel (37:31):
That’s amazing. I actually had someone recently say, and I hadn’t thought of it this way, but they were diagnosed later in life and they were kind of like, “I don’t know what to do now.” There’s no follow up. The doctors don’t follow up with you after they diagnose you. It’s just kind of like all on you. I don’t think we acknowledge just how massive ADHD can be a part of someone’s life. You feel very alone.
(37:58):
They were saying if they had had an issue with alcohol, there’s Alcoholics Anonymous and people know about it. There’s all of these other programs. But for something that is as intertwined through every aspect of our lives, there isn’t something like that. I think what you’re doing is an amazing addition to just this lack of structure, so to speak, to use that word again, when it comes to actual resources.
Marc Almodovar (38:25):
Yeah, thank you. It’s very cool. I know how a lot of us men tend to operate. The common issue amongst us is that we will go through something difficult and experience a range of emotions and bottle up many of them. And then one thing that tends to happen is that it explodes in some way, shape, or form, right? But much of that is due to the fact that we don’t have a healthy way to get it out. My work is pushing expressing your emotions in a healthy way for men.
Lindsay Guentzel (39:09):
Last thing I want to ask, we’re in the midst of ADHD Awareness Month, and one of my goals with this project was to really focus in on sharing as many different experiences as possible. I’ve asked everyone, if there was one thing that the general public doesn’t know about ADHD or a misconception that they’re sticking with, what is something that you really wish you could change? Three, two, one. Last thing I want to ask is as we’re in ADHD Awareness Month, one of my goals with this project was to really focus in on sharing as many different experiences as possible.I’ve asked everyone, if there was one thing that the general public doesn’t know about ADHD or a misconception that they’re sticking with, what is something that you really wish you could work on changing around that current narrative?
Marc Almodovar (40:03):
That we need to figure out what needs to happen to make people with ADHD normal. That’s something I would like to change. It’s not about that. To me, it’s not about getting your kid to stop thinking about fishing all day long and focus more on math. It’s about teaching your kid on how to set up a podcast on fishing and join a Twitter room or something like that where he can speak about fishing, things like that. It’s creating an environment in which kids with ADHD have their strengths working for them as opposed to trying to make them something that they’re not.
(40:49):
That’s what I want to change is like, these people are great and brilliant, let’s make spaces that work for everyone, not just one type of learner or way of thinking.
Lindsay Guentzel (40:58):
Yes, one type of learner. You look back at school and you’re like, oh, it was just this one size fits all, unless it was so noticeable, and then there was help. But it was all of us in the middle that were kind of just skating by and masking for so long. It’s sometimes very frustrating to look back at that and go, “That could have been better for me.”
Marc Almodovar (41:27):
Yeah. In school, I was into making beats and music producing and stuff like that. I should have been doing more of that. All the math equations that I’ve learned, they haven’t served me much in my life so far. You know what I mean? That’s how I feel.
Lindsay Guentzel (41:46):
Well, I feel the same way. I took AP Calculus senior year and I really could have used health insurance or basic investments just like in adulting class.
Marc Almodovar (41:55):
Yeah.
Lindsay Guentzel (41:57):
Well, Marc, it was such a pleasure. Thank you so much for joining us on Refocused, Together for ADHD Awareness Month. And thank you for sharing your story, not just here, but every day that you share it with the community that you’re building. Your goals for the future are incredibly ambitious, and I’m so excited to see your excitement. There’s just something that is so contagious about that. Thank you for joining us today. I truly appreciate it.
Marc Almodovar (42:24):
I appreciate it, my friend. Thank you for having me on.
Lindsay Guentzel (42:33):
There are so many people to thank for making Refocused, Together happen. The entire team ADHD Online, Zach Booker, Dr. Randall Duthler, Tim Gutwald, Keith Brophy, my teammates, Keith Boswell, Susanne Spruit, Claudia Gotti, Melanie Mile, Paul Owen, Kirsten Pip, Sissy Yee, Trisha Mirchandani, Lauren Radley, Corey Kearney, and Mason Nelly, and the team at Dexia, Hector and Kenneth, and the team at SMACK! Media, Cameron Sterling and Candace Lefty, Camilla Eden, Lauren Terry, Sarah Gelbard, Phil Rodamin, Jake Bieber, and Sarah Platonitis. Our theme music was created by Lewis Engles, a songwriter and composer based in Perth, Australia, who is diagnosed with ADHD in 2020 at the age of 39.
(43:26):
To find out more about Refocused, Together or to share your story with me, head over to adhdonline.com and check out the ADHD Awareness Month page, which highlights this project, as well as each day’s after they’ve been released. You can also out by following along on social @LindsayGuentzel and @RefocusPod.
