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Tori Niedbalec and Finding
Your Place

Tori Niedbalec’s early struggle with ADHD left her feeling misunderstood and stigmatized. Despite trying various treatments and medications, she found true healing only after a transformative move to Michigan in 2019, where she embarked on a journey of self-discovery and mental health exploration. 

With the support of a strong network, effective therapy, and self-awareness practices, Tori has learned to navigate her emotions and communication, leading to a more fulfilling and accepting life. Today, Tori thrives in her roles at ADHD Online and Mentavi Health, empowered by the understanding and acceptance she receives from her community. 

Listen in as Tori discusses the realities of living with ADHD, shares how her journey with medication made her realize its role as a tool for her to utilize – not a total fix – and how wonderful it has been finding her place, her people and her purpose. 

Refocused, Together is a collection of 31 stories told throughout the 31 days of October, a part of our commitment to ADHD Awareness Month. Make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss a single story this month! 

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Tori Niedbalec (00:00):

My life is going exactly how I need it to go right now. I have a very supportive job. I have a very loving and supportive partner in my life. I have friends who I consider my family, and it’s going really, really well for me right now. Had you asked me five years ago, I would not been here.

Lindsay Guentzel (00:27):

You are listening to Refocused Together, and this is episode 21. Tori Niedbalec and Finding Your Place. Welcome back to Refocused, A Podcast All About ADHD. I’m your host, Lindsay Guentzel, and today we’ve got another story in our Refocused Together series.

(00:54):

You just heard today’s guest, Tori Niedbalec. Tori’s journey with ADHD started when she was diagnosed with it around the age of seven or eight in elementary school. Her teachers were the ones who informed her parents of her potential ADHD, and recommended that she be tested.

(01:13):

Growing up, Tori was unaware of what was happening to her. She saw different doctors, tried different medications, and worked one-on-one with teachers to quell her hyperactivity and inability to focus in school. She even spent time away from her peers, and there were adults around her who always told her that she needed to get over it, or if she could just focus more, or stop fidgeting, things would be better.

(01:42):

During that time, the stigma of a mental health diagnosis was still heavy and people were not open to talking about it. The early 2000s were a challenging time for those with ADHD, and Tori’s biggest struggle was her environment. Although medication was helpful in some cases, she needed more than that, like coping skills and therapy.

(02:05):

As a teenager, she stopped taking medication in an effort to learn more about how to work with her emotions and to start dealing with her anxiety and depression. She was adventurous and impulsive, quick to interrupt, and forgetful. People called her reckless and out of control. Life was a tiring roller coaster, and she carried a lot of unnecessary shame.

(02:32):

Tori’s healing journey started when she moved to Michigan at the end of 2019, 800 miles away from everything she knew. Newly divorced and with a clean slate, she was able to go out and explore who she was, figure out her medications, and work on her mental health challenges.

(02:52):

She got an excellent therapist to do cognitive behavioral therapy. And as a result, she’s become a stronger communicator. Tori’s learned more about her emotions, her triggers, and which skills to use when self-awareness kicks in. She is doing her best to be kind to herself.

(03:12):

Tori now lives with her loving partner and two border collies, and her support network is strong. Life is really going well for her right now, something that didn’t feel possible five years ago.

(03:26):

Tori works at ADHD Online and Mentavi Health, surrounded by people who understand what ADHD is. It feels amazing to feel accepted, and it has impacted her life in such a positive way. She takes great pride in helping others with ADHD.

(03:45):

Let’s now hear from Tori about her journey with ADHD. Myths about medication being the magic be all, end all, and how life-changing it can be to work in a place that understands you through and through.

(04:09):

I’ve made these interviews as easy as possible. We ask every single guest the same five questions, and we start with, when were you diagnosed with ADHD, and what was that process like? And what initially sparked that conversation for you?

Tori Niedbalec (04:23):

So my diagnosis of ADHD started very young. I was probably around the age of seven or eight in elementary school. My teachers were actually the ones who talked to my parents about getting me tested. At the time of growing up, I of course was unaware of what was going on, so I’m seeing different doctors, trying different medications, trying all these different things, because I’m just a kid who’s hyper and unable to focus in school. So that’s pretty much where it stemmed it all.

(04:56):

And then growing up older, trying different medications, I stopped for a little bit, and then I eventually landed this job at this company, which sparked the interest again for learning about my ADHD diagnosis.

Lindsay Guentzel (05:12):

I want to go back. You mentioned you were a kid. You didn’t really know what was going on, but you’re seeing all these doctors, and you know that you are hyperactive. You love to move around. Do you remember being reprimanded in school for those behaviors?

Tori Niedbalec (05:26):

All the time. And it wasn’t being reprimanded as in I’m getting detention. It was I needed special attention. I got that IEP, that one-on-one with the teachers. So they definitely made me stand out, because why does everybody else get to be in the normal class and why am I isolated?

(05:50):

Well, I’m isolated because I focus better that way. And that’s essentially how they reprimanded me by eliminating me from the public population at school, which I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was still able to be in those classes. But having an IEP, you have that additional attention as other kids may not.

Lindsay Guentzel (06:11):

What was that like for you? Being a kid is hard enough, so now you have been labeled as different. And no one really ever took time to explain why you needed to be in these special classes, why it was beneficial for you, which may have helped with some of those feelings. But I have to imagine that as a kid going through that, it must’ve been really hard.

Tori Niedbalec (06:37):

It was definitely more on the difficult side. Thankfully, I mean now speaking, my resilience has probably stemmed a lot from the unknown and having to be slewed all the time, and going from doctor to doctor, to medication to medication. And it was definitely not fun. Going through those med changes, your body adjusts or doesn’t like it, and it just is one tiring roller coaster. That is for sure.

Lindsay Guentzel (07:09):

You mentioned taking some time off, which is actually a really common thing I’ve heard from people who are diagnosed as kids. There comes a time where you want to figure out what works for you and what life is like, and you’ve been through so much already. You just mentioned even with the med changes. What was the decision like for you to kind of take a break and take a step back, and what was life like during that time?

Tori Niedbalec (07:36):

I stopped the medication probably around the ages of 14 and 15, so about seven, eight years into my journey on the medication. And I ended up removing myself from the medication, just because I noticed that I would get angrier a lot quicker. I would snap. I wouldn’t have the hyperfocus that I needed in the areas that were beneficial to me. So my hyperfocus was redirected to my impulsivity, and my recklessness, my careless behavior.

(08:13):

So at that time, it was very interesting, but it was better for my body mentally to understand, “Okay, here’s what’s going on. Here are the signs and symptoms now.” Once we started treating anxiety and depression and there’s still other symptoms, now we know what to focus on.

(08:34):

So I was really able to take myself off to learn about who I am as a person for all these years. And then like I said, coming back to this company, that really re-sparked my interest for sure.

Lindsay Guentzel (08:50):

Let’s talk about that. You work at ADHD Online and Mentavi Health. One of the biggest things with ADHD Online is making sure that the patients have the resources that they need, which is why this podcast exists. I’m wondering what you have found as somebody who works with the company, when you are surrounded by everything. And you kind of mentioned this reigniting of your interest in discovering how ADHD affects you and how it shows up in your life.

Tori Niedbalec (09:21):

Yeah, absolutely. So being a kid, I was born in ’94. So at that time, being in school early 2000s, it was a mental health diagnosis that people were just barely being introduced to. And it was just, the stigma of the medication is hyperactivity, not able to focus, and, “Yeah, we’re not sure what it is, so we’ll just put you in this pile.” So it was always more of hush, hush. And then coming here, now the resources are available. We are able to normalize it and make us not feel alone, which is definitely helpful because for a long time it was just, “I’ll get over it,” or, “I just need to focus more,” or, “Stop fidgeting,” and it’s like I’m paying attention.

(10:13):

So throughout all that time of my physical outbursts of fidgeting or twitching, I learned to internalize my ADHD. So now it’s like I sit still and people are like, “You don’t have ADHD.” And I’m like, “Yes, I do. My mind is a million times a second.” So it definitely learns to be controlled with time, but here we have our little fidget toys, our little pop its. And that definitely helps while working. We definitely have that healthy distraction you can-

Lindsay Guentzel (10:50):

The stimulation.

Tori Niedbalec (10:51):

Yes, stimulation. Thank you.

Lindsay Guentzel (10:54):

I have to imagine too, being surrounded by people who understand what ADHD is, you mentioned the stigma being born in 1994. It’s gotten better, but it’s nowhere near where it needs to be when we’re talking about the understanding of the general population when it comes to what they know about ADHD.

(11:15):

I was just having this conversation yesterday about the people who say, “Everyone has ADHD,” and it’s like, well, if everyone has ADHD, why are we not throwing more money at research? Why are we not figuring out why this is going on?

(11:30):

And so it is just that frustration of, I don’t want to say necessarily ignorance in the sense of it being a very, very bad term, but ignorance to a degree of not understanding ADHD and not wanting to understand ADHD.

(11:43):

So what is it like for you to work at a place where everyone, whether they have it or not, puts in an effort to actually understand this disorder?

Tori Niedbalec (11:54):

It feels healthy, it feels amazing, and you feel really accepted here. And working in a mental health place is a phenomenal, phenomenal choice for anybody who wants to get into a field, mental health is the way to go. Because we’re accepting, we’re understanding, we know how to help our stimulations and our outbursts. And it’s an amazing place to work here. I’ve never had a company in my life be as understanding and accepting as I have here. And it’s life-changing, and it has impacted my life in such a positive way where, you know what? I am different, but I’m not different in a sense where I need to be isolated. I can be like the misfits, and we’re all here together, and we just make the best of it. So it’s definitely a very pleasant journey here for sure.

Lindsay Guentzel (12:54):

You mentioned when you went off your medication, there was a point where you had realized that you had been taking your hyperfocus and putting it towards things that were not beneficial towards you. I heard you say you got angrier quicker, you were doing some destructive behaviors. When you look back at that time, what stands out as the biggest struggle you were having? Keeping in mind, The one thing that I love, you were a teenager, you were going through puberty. And no one talks about the changes that come yet. You’re expected to stay on medication you’ve been on since you were a child, but you aren’t the same person.

Tori Niedbalec (13:36):

I think a lot of my biggest struggle personally at the time was my environment around me. So the medication that I was on was helpful for when it was needed in a situation. And of course with any type of medication, you need coping skills and therapy. I unfortunately did not have that at the given time, so I had to really learn how to fend for myself. But ultimately, I think it was just my body not wanting to react appropriately to the medication and it was like, “Hey, I don’t like this. I don’t need this. Let’s get something that will be beneficial.” So I think it was just more of my body saying, “Hey, I don’t like this medication,” and I wasn’t listening to myself. So until I put myself in those dangerous situations, I was like, “Whoa, hey, maybe I shouldn’t be taking this medication. Let’s stop and get away from it, and see how I do react.”

(14:38):

It was definitely adventurous, and the impulsivity I had is at the time I was called reckless, and just out of control basically. And I had no idea what they meant by being reckless because, well, I don’t think I’m being reckless. Here I am bouncing off the walls, and doing crazy adventurous things. And I could have eight different outings in one night with so many different friends, and that’s a lot. That is a lot to juggle. And now I see why back then knowing what I know now, it’s like wow, yeah. I’m so glad I got myself off those medications and then got myself on medication that is beneficial for me.

Lindsay Guentzel (15:24):

When you look at life right now, everything that you know, what is your biggest struggle with ADHD and how it shows up for you?

Tori Niedbalec (15:32):

My biggest struggle with ADHD is probably internalizing everything, and communication, having a conversation. Even with the trying to stay focused, my mind wants to travel and be distracted with different cars going by or sounds and it’s like, “No, we’re focusing on here.” So probably communications and just sounds with people.

Lindsay Guentzel (15:59):

It’s something I think people who have never experienced it can never understand, but to be sitting in a restaurant. Let’s say you and I go out to eat and we’re trying to have a one-on-one conversation. I can hear everything happening around us and you, and somehow my brain is focusing in on all of it. And it is so hard, because we want to focus, I want to focus on you. And it doesn’t matter how much or how many times I tell myself, “Stay focused on your conversation with Tori.” These outside distractions, we can’t turn it off.

Tori Niedbalec (16:35):

No, we really can’t. And everyone just thinks it’s like blinders. We can just put them up, put them down whenever. And it’s really not. It’s so out of our control. And the hypervigilance that comes with the ADHD, it’s a positive and a negative, honestly. And that’s one of the stigmas that a lot of people don’t understand unless they actually go through it, because with my partner and I, the communication there, I really want to be in tune, in depth with the serious conversation. But five seconds into it, my mind’s thinking about what I did 20 years ago or what I did five minutes ago. So it’s just like, “Nope, focus on the conversation,” and it’s just like the slightest little thing can distract me. Sense, lighting, it’s just that ADHD, anything that catches your attention essentially, or is that stimulation basically.

Lindsay Guentzel (17:29):

And the hypervigilance. You mentioned having a conversation, having a tough conversation. I think the one thing that we don’t talk about a lot is we are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop from past experiences. And it is very hard to reset and go, “This is a new experience, this is a new conversation. This is not something I had done in the past.” But letting go of that shame, and you mentioned the internalizing and pulling something up from 20 years ago. Oh, I have been there.

Tori Niedbalec (18:02):

I always am quick to interrupt, and I do put a lot of my past experiences to my current because of being neurodivergent. It is where my mind is rewired to associate my current to my past because that stimulates your brain enough to say, “Hey, this happened before. How do we handle this?” And it’s basically like a trigger.

(18:29):

And with ADHD, there are so many triggers that we as a person may not even know what our triggers are until we are face-to-face with them. And that is the biggest thing with ADHD is we don’t know our triggers until we’re hit with them, and then we don’t know how to react. And then we’re not present for the conversation.

Lindsay Guentzel (18:52):

I could make this about me, because there is so much you just said there that I’m like, “Oh yes, the triggers.” The triggers. And you are so spot on. You don’t know what they are until they hit you. But you’ve also had to have done the work to recognize that, which is a part of the process.

(19:09):

And it feels like you have done a lot of work, because everything you’re saying is very spot on and very self-aware. And I’m wondering if you can dive into that a little bit.

Tori Niedbalec (19:21):

I did have to do a lot of self-healing for sure. My journey of self-healing ideally started four and a half years ago when I moved to Michigan in 2019, the end of 2019 I should say. And while moving here 800 miles away from everything, I had a clean slate. Nobody knew who I was. Freshly and happily divorced, woo, back then. I was able to go out and explore who I am, what I am, and to really get a grasp on my medications, my mental health challenges.

(19:57):

And with ADHD, it’s basically like a gateway to other mental health challenges, anxiety, depression. And it can even be related to PTSD in a sense just because of, like you said, those past experiences to those present. And unfortunately during my whole life, I haven’t been in therapy, because my therapist back then had said my life was too chaotic basically for them to continue treatment with me. But four years ago, I got myself a really good therapist, where I was able to have that cognitive therapy and to discuss different emotions.

(20:33):

So it really didn’t start for me until about four years ago, my healing. But it’s self-awareness, and it’s not just medication. Medication’s not going to heal you. You need to put in the effort and the work in yourself to be better. And I think that’s what a lot of people fail to think.

(20:54):

And I am one of those people. I thought medication was just going to magically heal me. I didn’t need to put in any work. “I just take this pill and I’m good to go.” And no, that’s not the case. It is a lot of self-work with the medication, so definitely recommend getting into therapy and the medication for good coping skills.

Lindsay Guentzel (21:16):

I want to stay focused on the positive here, and I want to talk about where you see yourself in life right now thriving. What is going exactly how you want it to go?

Tori Niedbalec (21:28):

My life is going exactly how I need it to go right now. I have a job which will potentially be my career. I don’t think Mentavi Health, ADHD Online is going away anytime soon. We help many, many patients throughout the US, and that security right there is great for me.

(21:47):

But essentially, I have a very supportive job. I have a very loving and supportive partner in my life. I have friends who I consider my family, and it’s going really, really well for me right now. And I of course have my two border colleagues who are my children, so I have them keeping me on my toes. But had you asked me five years ago, I would’ve not been here. And it’s just great having a company with ADHD who understands.

Lindsay Guentzel (22:21):

I have to imagine that your experience crosses over into who you are at work, and I’m wondering how you see it benefiting you in how you show up and how you get to support people within the company.

Tori Niedbalec (22:36):

I think I bring my ADHD, my hypervigilance to the table, especially with helping others. And I take great pride in helping others. So being able to have that focus with my job is great, and being fluid with the ADHD. We have to be very fluid because our minds are going a million miles a second, and I can have five different conversations at once, and go back to the same one.

(23:05):

But having that resilience, it’s very helpful because we have to chat to patients, we have to speak to patients, and then we have to speak to our providers. So it’s a lot of versatility going on in our job role, where the ADHD makes it beneficial, especially with the enjoyment of the job.

Lindsay Guentzel (23:29):

From my experience working as a partner with ADHD Online, it’s also so nice to have a room full of people who have an understanding of what the patient is going through. Because sometimes, I think we forget that these rules that are set up, most of the time not by us, are so hard for us to follow. The executive functioning skills that are needed to be a person with ADHD in this country, some days it feels impossible. But at the same time, you have a group of people who get that and are actively working, as you said, to be as fluid as possible to support this incredibly diverse community.

Tori Niedbalec (24:09):

I think it’s definitely helpful having a company who does understand the ADHD, because we’re able to make it more understandable or more personable on a patient level. We are able to take ourselves out of our job duty roles and put ourselves in the patient perspective.

(24:30):

Our website is made easily accessible by patients, because with a company of employees who have ADHD, we are still all human, and we know what it’s like to be on the patient side. So with the ADHD, we make it really easy for the patient, for them to understand.

Lindsay Guentzel (24:53):

It’s kind of like you’re helping yourself while helping them. You wouldn’t create a product that you wouldn’t be able to use yourself.

Tori Niedbalec (25:01):

Exactly. That’s what I was trying to say. Thank you. My ADHD had it all over the place. But yes, we would put out a product that we can use just as well as you can use. And with the ADHD and having that understanding, we know what it’s like to be forgetful. And the biggest thing about forgetfulness is I think with ADHD is, we forget that we forget to remember. That is one of my biggest struggles.

(25:29):

But thankfully with the company, they’re able to all give gentle reminders to stay on task and things like that. But we understand, so that’s the benefit of it.

Lindsay Guentzel (25:43):

You mentioned knowing what one of your triggers are. I think knowing what your setbacks are is also as important, and the coping skills that need to happen in order to break those. And I used to just want to trust my brain so hard, like, “I will remember. I’ll remember, of course I’m going to remember.” And then of course I wouldn’t remember. I mean sometimes yes, I would remember. But now it is going, “What do I need between now and that point that I need to remember it? Is it a post-it note? Is it a reminder on my phone?” Sometimes even if I’m in a rush, it’s like, “Okay, I’m going to put this bag in front of the steps so that when I leave the house, I have to go around that bag and my brain will go, ‘Why is that bag on the floor?'”

(26:32):

And it is exhausting. But at the same time, once you know that you have to do those steps and you can do them easily, it just kind of becomes second nature.

Tori Niedbalec (26:43):

Definitely takes time to become second nature for sure. However, if your ADHD is really beneficial to you, like it is to me, with that bag in front of the door, I’ll set myself reminders all the time. I’ll put a bag on the door so I don’t forget it. “Why is that bag there? I don’t need it.” And I go about my day, “Oh shoot, I needed that bag for this.” And it’s like, “I tried and I forget.” It’s like crossing a threshold into a different room. You just blank and you forget. But then you try so hard to remember and do things for yourself like that. Like you said, leaving the bag out.

Lindsay Guentzel (27:27):

But it’s so important to be kind with yourself in those moments, right?

Tori Niedbalec (27:30):

Oh, yes. Yes, definitely very important to be kind to yourself during that moment. And I think everyone should be kind to themselves, because we’re human, we make mistakes, and we’re just trying to get through life. And this ADHD thing, it’s got us all over the place. Just like if people look at us and they’re confused, just imagine how confused we are trying to get through day to day.

Lindsay Guentzel (27:57):

I want to know when you look at the future, what’s really exciting for you? What is pushing you forward right now?

Tori Niedbalec (28:03):

I think the awareness to self-care and the mental health community, it is growing tremendously. And I think that takes a lot of interest in me, because it’s okay to not be okay. And I am the type of person who I will go out of my way just to make sure somebody else is doing okay, even if I’m not. And I think that’s my ADHD where it’s like, “Hey, look at it, they’re all alone. Let me go say hi to them. This person’s over here. Let me go say hi to them.” So I think it’s just one of those ideal things that you just go about.

Lindsay Guentzel (28:43):

It’s a lovely trait to have, to be thinking of other people. And I do think that it is very much tied into the neurodiverse community.

Tori Niedbalec (28:52):

Oh, definitely. And being neurodivergent and having all this expansion in the world right now is opening to oneself. Being in this field, you see a lot more exposure to these symptoms and the signs, and it’s like, “Oh hey, this can be beneficial to me.” And we take these tools that we’re exposed to, and we’re able to put them back out to the community with our proper training, and having just that growth overall.

(29:24):

And I think Covid really put a spike in that mental health growing or that self-awareness, because being isolated, it brought it out more. And I think that’s really where it took off. And it’s just been growing ever since, and it’s just exciting to see that we’re reaching out to the people who don’t feel okay and who are scared to say something.

(29:52):

And our population base, our community patients are mainly older. And it’s because of the fact that ADHD was frowned upon. “It’s no big deal. You’ll get over it. Just pay attention more.” And now that we’re able to speak out about it, we’re able to draw that attention of the patients who were always told to just brush it off. So it’s really nice to be able to touch all ages of the community.

Lindsay Guentzel (30:25):

I love that you touched on breaking down the stigma and how important it is. And I’m wondering, when you look at the current state of what the general population knows about ADHD, what is one thing you wish that they understood better?

Tori Niedbalec (30:41):

It’s out of our control. It really, truly is out of our control. I feel that they should know that we really, really, really want to be attentive. We just can’t be attentive at the given time probably, and it really is just out of our control. I want people to understand more than anything that it’s genuinely out of my control. It’s my neurodivergent gift, we can say. It gives me a lot of blessings.

Lindsay Guentzel (31:16):

Tori, this was such a lovely conversation. It is so clear that you have really put in the work and that you are in such a lovely, wonderful place right now, and it radiates off of you. I hope you know that, and it just makes me so happy to know that one, that you’re in this place, because it sounds like it took a lot of really hard work to get there. And we all know what that is like and the stories that our brains can tell us, and sometimes they’re not great stories. And so I just want to one, thank you for sharing your story with us.

(31:52):

And two, it makes me so happy to know that you are someone who is working in the mental health community. So I’m so grateful for your time. I’m so grateful for your energy, both in this conversation and what you’re putting out there. And I’m really excited to see what’s next for you.

Tori Niedbalec (32:09):

I appreciate that so much. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to come and talk to you. And like I said, with ADHD, it is a never dull moment. We learn something new every single day with this lovely challenge, and it’s just been a great time to talk to you, so thank you so much.

Lindsay Guentzel (32:29):

I am so glad I got to talk with Tori, and share her story with you on Refocused Together. One thing that stood out to me from our time chatting is not only how resilient she is, but that she actually sees and acknowledges her resiliency. For her to truly comprehend what she’s overcome and how hard she’s worked to get to that point, it was so refreshing to see.

(32:58):

As humans, we are often our own worst critics, and we rarely give ourselves the credit we deserve. It’s so important that we learn how to be proud of ourselves. It isn’t easy. We’ve essentially been told our whole lives that there is this very small outline of a box drawn on the ground that we are allowed to stand in when it comes to celebrating our victories. “Don’t be boastful. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Don’t celebrate the everyday stuff. Save it for the really big life moments.”

(33:33):

I hate to break it to those people, but wow, are you missing out on a lot of joy? In every episode of Refocus Together, I ask our guests where they see themselves thriving, and every single one of them has an answer.

(33:50):

You know why? Because people with ADHD are resilient. It’s actually one of our superpowers, something I think even those who aren’t the biggest fans of that phrase, ADHD superpower, can get behind.

(34:06):

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Every single day, people with ADHD go out into a world that simply put, isn’t built for us. We go to jobs that tend to lack the understanding and flexibility we need. We engage with systems like doctor’s appointments, car and house maintenance, that have major roadblocks for the ADHD brain. We have to be resilient just to make it through the day. Don’t even get me started on thriving.

(34:39):

There’s a study from 2018, and even the title just makes me happy. The positive aspects of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a qualitative investigation of successful adults with ADHD. Through this study, it was found that people with ADHD report they are more energetic, creative, courageous, and wait for it, resilient, than people with without the condition. High five to all of those ADHDers who weren’t afraid to toot their own horns during those interviews.

(35:16):

The thing is, ADHD can bring on a lot of big feelings, and it’s important that we learn how to cope with them. And then you just continue to practice those coping skills over and over again. You just keep showing up for yourself, and that resilience is built up over time. The problem is we tend to think of being something. Let’s use running. Perfect example for me right now.

(35:44):

The problem is we tend to think of ourselves as either being a runner or not being a runner. Well, right now I’m not running, but I used to run, and there were points in my life where I ran a lot. And that changed daily, weekly, monthly. Sometimes, I just did more running than other times in my life for a variety of reasons. But I was always a runner. Even now, I am a runner who isn’t running at the moment. Could I do it? Sure. It wouldn’t be pretty, but I could do it.

(36:20):

It’s the same thing with something like our resiliency. It’s not like one day you woke up and were resilient. No, you like Tori, have been building yourself up, year after year, challenge after challenge. It’s just that no one alerts us when the resiliency kicks in. We don’t get that notification, “Hey Lindsay, today you became resilient. Would be nice to know what we have going for us, but it’s just not something that’s going to happen.”

(36:52):

Again, I’m so grateful to Tori for sharing her story with us here on Refocused Together. Her positivity and self-awareness is so lovely to see, and I love that she’s found a job where she feels supported to be her true self while helping others.

(37:07):

And speaking of resiliency, we are getting close to the final countdown for Refocused Together. I keep laughing to myself because after last year, our team did everything we could to make sure the chaos didn’t follow us into 2023. And life was all like, “Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

(37:29):

That said, I’m so proud of what we’re doing here, and it means so much to me when I hear from a listener about an episode they love or a specific moment they connected with. Keep sending me those over the next couple of weeks while we wrap this baby up, and be sure to join us on November 13th as we look back at Refocused Together 2023 and all of the incredible stories we were lucky enough to share from our ADHD community.

(38:00):

Support for Refocused comes from our partner, ADHD Online, a telemedicine mental healthcare company that provides affordable and accessible ADHD assessments and treatment plans. To learn how they can help you on your journey, head to a adhdonline.com and remember to use the promo code Refocused 20 to receive $20 off your ADHD Online assessment right now.

(38:32):

The biggest thanks go out to our team at ADHD Online, Keith Boswell, Susanne Spruit, Melanie [inaudible 00:38:40], Claudia Gotti, and Trisha Merchen-Dunny, for their constant support in helping make Refocused Together happen.

(38:49):

These 31 episodes were produced thanks to our managing editor Sarah Platanitis, our production coordinator Phil Rodemann, social media specialist and editor Al Chaplin, and me, the host and executive producer of Refocused, Lindsay Guentzel. To connect with the show on social media, you can find us online @RefocusedPod, and you can email the show directly [email protected]. That’s [email protected].

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