Episode 85. Emily Howarth explores the connection between being Queer and Neurodiverse

In recognition of Pride Month, we continue our discussion about ADHD and queerness. In today’s episode, friend of the podcast Emily Howarth shares openly about surviving a suicide attempt and how it led to her finding out about her ADHD.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is help. Call or text the number 988 to connect directly to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you do not live in the United States, here is a list of resources for help and support in other countries around the world.

Learn more about the language guidelines to follow when talking about suicide, set by the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto.

Jess Corinne’s article for Learnfully.com, The Link Between Neurodiversity and the LGBTQIA+ Community

Add us on Social Media!

Lindsay Guentzel (00:01):

Whether you’re looking for a second opinion, are ready to get answers for the very first time, or you’re just looking for a little extra information your brain, the ADHD online assessment was designed with you in mind. And considering you are here listening to a podcast about ADHD, this could be the perfect next step for you or someone you care about. Until June 30th, Refocused listeners will receive $20 off their ADHD online assessment simply by using the discount code Refocused20. The assessment typically takes about 60 to 90 minutes to complete, and you don’t have to do it all at once. You can do a little, take a break, and pick back up when you’re ready. The only schedule you are working around is yours. The questions are dynamic and logic-based, meaning that they adjust as you go to ensure they provide everything an ADHD online psychologist in your state will need to evaluate and provide a diagnosis or an exclusion. Again, take $20 off your ADHD online assessment now through the end of June by using the promo code Refocused20 when you check-out. Head to adhdonline.com right now to get started.


My name is Lindsey Guentzel, and every week on Refocused, we dive into the incredibly complex world of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, exploring the topics most important to our community by interviewing medical providers, mental health professionals, and ADHD experts. We also just talk to other neurodiverse folks who share what it is like living in a world not built for them. And of course, all of that brings up tips and tricks and workarounds that we can mix and match to fit in our own lives and needs. Whether you’ve been navigating ADHD your entire life or you’re just getting started on your journey, there is something for everyone on Refocused, and I promise that while we take this very seriously, we also have a lot of fun because life is way better with a little laughter in it. So sit back, relax, or do whatever you need to do to get into your listening mode, because our latest episode, Emily Howarth explores the connection between being and neurodiverse, is coming up next.


Today’s episode addresses surviving a suicide attempt. If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is help. Call or text the number 988 to connect directly to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If you don’t live in the United States, we’ve included a list of resources for help and support in other countries around the world. You can find that linked in our show notes.


Last week on Refocused, we look back at my conversation with neuroqueer advocate, Dylan Alter, who shared some of the similarities they’ve identified through their experiences over the years as a person who is non-binary and also neurodivergent. One of the biggest takeaways from my conversation with Dylan was the role that masking has played for both communities. This feeling that you needed to be something you weren’t in order to fit into a world that wasn’t made for you. Dylan also touched on how finding and accepting their true self as a non-binary person prepared them years later when they found themselves exploring the possibility that they might have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Today we are continuing that conversation, diving further into the connections between neurodiversity and the LGBTQ+ community by welcoming back another friend of the podcast to share their story for pride month.

Emily Howarth (03:59):

Hi, I’m Emily Howarth. I am from just outside Philadelphia. I’m a lifelong learner, and my current subject, I’m very interested in hyper-focusing on and going down a research rabbit hole is ADHD because I was newly diagnosed and I’m finding out that that is a huge part of who I am and how I show up in the world, and I’m ready to tap into those superpowers. I’m also an advocate. I’m standing up as a neurodivergent and mental health advocate. That’s who I am.

Lindsay Guentzel (04:41):

Emily joined us on Refocused back in December, and helped us wrap up the year by sharing her ADHD diagnosis story in the episode Emily Howarth and Loving Her Pinball Machine Brain.

Emily Howarth (04:53):

I never found a place in the world. Never found a place in the world, but I kept trying. So I went through some of my own traumatic experiences, and it wasn’t until 2012 when we lost someone very near and dear to me to suicide that I sought out therapy for myself for the first time. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t work, because I didn’t know how to talk about my emotions, so I didn’t continue even though I had gone through a really, really hard time. So I started and stopped therapy, I don’t even know how many times, from 2012 through today, and I was on medication for a little bit after everything that happened in 2012. Met with my general practitioner and got on something for depression. So that was my treatment. I was on 10 milligrams of Celexa just out living my life, trying to do the best I can, but it was hard.


And I have a lot of strength and I have a lot of resiliency, and I kept trying and trying, and hitting roadblocks. And finally one day I’m sitting there, and I’m trying to point to all the things that are my anxiety triggers, trying to figure it out. I just want to unlock what that answer is because knowledge is power, and if I know that I can do something about it. And it was a really lovely day, honestly, just listening to music and taking in the nature all around me and just kind of decompressing. And then I was getting ready for bed, and the flood of hopelessness took over me, and impulsivity took over me. And even though I have lost several very important people in my life to suicide, I found myself in that position.


I found myself so hopeless because I didn’t fit in and I wasn’t good enough, and I wasn’t all these things. I attempted to end my own life. And that was June 16th, 2021, and thankfully it didn’t work. I got out of it, and I reached out for help. I got ahold of my wife and she took me to the emergency room, and I went and got some psychiatric care after that, and I went and got residential treatment, and I still didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD. I’m talking to a lot of really smart professionals. I don’t know it’s in me, and they’re still not noticing it. And it wasn’t until I saw a meme or something, an infographic on… I don’t know, Facebook, Instagram, I’m not sure. I have it saved.


And it was misdiagnosis Monday. And I’m looking at this infographic and I am seeing myself and my struggles, and the reason I ended up in that scary place on June 16th, and the reason it was taking me 18 years to finish an undergrad degree, and I almost failed out of high school. All the things. Like you said, it was the answer you didn’t know you needed.


So I went into a research rabbit hole trying to figure out the… I work in finance, so the most cost-effective, quality, reliable care I could find to try and get help. Because again, my quality of care up until that point had led me to a dark place. So after a ton of research, a month of research, in August I came to ADHD Online. And man, was it easy. The website’s great, super user-friendly, and it probably took me a few times to get through the assessment. I don’t remember. And I think within a week, maybe not even, I had a diagnosis. And then very shortly after that, I had treatment.

Lindsay Guentzel (09:37):

If you’ve already listened to Emily’s episode, you know that we met at the International Conference on ADHD in Dallas last November. Emily approached Susan, a team member from ADHD Online, while Susan was manning the booth in the conference hall, and said something along the lines of, “hello, my name is Emily and ADHD Online saved my life.” Cut to the two of us recording her episode a week or so later where I was just blown away by all that Emily had been able to accomplish in the very short time since receiving her diagnosis.

Emily Howarth (10:13):

I was working on an undergrad degree for 18 years. It was four or five different schools, can’t count how many different majors, never knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up, and all the classes are just too hard, and I can’t do it. I’m not built for school. But I have this hunger for learning. I want to use my brain. And I started getting treatment, and I grew the confidence to register for classes. So I met with an advisor at Penn State Abington, who saw these pockets in my Motley Crue of classes that fit into a degree, a letters, arts and sciences degree. He saw psychology, he saw health, he saw business. And that opened a door for me to study more about myself.


I registered for public speaking first. That was a class I had taken and dropped five times previously, and needed a permission slip to get into this time. And I did it. Not only did I do it, but I got 100% in the class, and I owe that to yes, my tenacity and my resiliency, but I owe that to ADHD Online. And man, I wish I could remember that prescriber’s name, that first practitioner from way back when, but I couldn’t have gotten through that class without the help that I got in those first few months. And then I scheduled all my other classes around what I wanted to learn about me and how I wanted to change the world.

Lindsay Guentzel (12:11):

Emily, like so many of us, her story has layers. She has layers. And while she spoke candidly about her relationship and ultimately her divorce, which was playing out while she was learning more about herself and her neurodiversity, we didn’t touch on her sexuality really at all in our conversation, which was why I was so excited when she agreed to come back for a return visit to talk about how she views the connection between her neurodiversity and her queerness for pride month.


There are definitely people talking about this connection, like the outreach being done by people like Dylan Alter, but like most things with ADHD, the research is limited. And that’s why I was so excited to find the article, the Link Between Neurodiversity and the LGBTQIA+ Community, written by educational therapist and neurodiversity advocate, Jess Corrine for learnfully.com. I actually sent Jess’s article to Emily ahead of our chat on Thursday as sort of a prompt, something to help her find pathways she might not have thought about, because asking someone, “how do you view the connection between your neurodiversity and your queerness?” Well, first it’s pretty broad, and it’s also a very heavy question. And what’s great is that Jess shares some really great evidence-backed observations in her article. And while I’m going to share some of them with you over these next few weeks of June, I highly recommend reading her incredible work on your own. We have it linked in the show notes for you to check out.


One of the interesting ideas Jess explored in her research for why the overlap exists is… And this really makes sense, at least for me. It’s the idea that people who have already questioned the norms set up for them by society, they may have an easier time embracing another thing about themselves that also pushes against societal pressures. A little like been there, done that, but on a much bigger scale. It’s something I asked Emily about specifically. Quoting Jess’s article and an e-book she explored from the National LGBTQIA Health Education Center, that looked at this exact question. I’m so grateful to Emily for her candor and trust in talking about something so personal, and I hope you enjoy our chat as much as I did.

Emily Howarth (14:41):

Last summer, I finished up my degree and I curated my classes in a way that I started studying things that had to do with me and how I’m showing up in the world. So I changed my major to psychology, health and business, and just really went two feet deep into learning about my new ADHD diagnosis. And one of the things that kept coming up for me, and one of the things that keeps coming up for me in my pursuit for more education is that question, is there a link between being and being neurodiverse? And I appreciate the article that you sent to me. A lot of the information was new and exciting for me, because I’m also just discovering right now just by self-diagnosis, my autism as well. So to have it framed in a way that it’s not just ADHD, but it’s neurodiversity as a whole.


Growing up, the queerness came out first. And I didn’t have role models. Whether it was in media that I was watching or familial or what, I didn’t have role models to point to, “this is what looks like, and being different is okay.” So I had that just being questioned in my mind for a really long time. I didn’t come to terms with my sexuality until I got my first girlfriend the summer going into senior year of high school. So just think about the identity crisis you have with an ADHD diagnosis, right? Learning this roadmap to your brain. What’s an identity crisis? Figuring out that you’re queer, too. And that was just much more prominent in my life. So the neurodiversity just got hidden. It wasn’t that I was queer and neurodiverse, it was that I was and had all the comorbidities that go along with what we know of the ADHD diagnosis, and the autism diagnosis as well.


So for me, yeah, it’s an interesting question. And from my own perspective and from the circle of queer friends that I have and neurodiverse friends that I have, I’m seeing overlap. And it’s a question that I want to dig into more as I continue my education. And I appreciate the article that you sent me, and it looks like there are a lot of interesting follow up articles as well that really delve a little bit deeper. So yeah, I want to get to know the people who are talking about this and see what we know about it, and what we still need to know about it, and what kind of part I can play as someone who’s sitting in the seat.

Lindsay Guentzel (17:42):

One of the lines in that article is, “evidence suggests that neurodiverse people, particularly those on the autism spectrum, are more likely to be gender diverse and have a lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, or asexual sexual orientation compared to neurotypical people. And the reasons why are not well understood. One possibility is that neurodiverse people tend to be less aware of, or less susceptible to, societal pressures and gender norms. Therefore, they can express their gender identity or sexual orientation without concerns of being judged or fitting into certain roles.”


Now, in an ideal world, that would be the truth for everyone, right? But I imagine as a 17-year-old, there is a lot of pressure that comes from that. And so I’m wondering, when you look back at coming out, and now knowing about your ADHD, do you ever wonder if maybe your sexual orientation kind of became your hyper focus at that moment?

Emily Howarth (18:43):

That’s such an interesting question. Yeah, because when I thought about self-identity, I never considered neurodiversity. Not until I was 37 years old, right?

Lindsay Guentzel (18:56):

Well, why would you? When you were 17, it was all white boys, and you are obviously not a white boy.

Emily Howarth (19:04):

No. Not to mention going to Catholic school. Coming out as queer and going to Catholic school, that was not easy, and-

Lindsay Guentzel (19:14):

Sounds like a blast.

Emily Howarth (19:15):

Yeah, and I don’t remember a lot from school, but I don’t remember neurodiversity being part of the curriculum either. So yeah, it was hard being in an environment where I didn’t get an opportunity to learn about who I was and who I could be, and how I was showing up in the world, whether it’s my sexuality or whether it’s my neurodiversity. So I do feel like I missed out on a lot there just in terms of how I was brought up, and the naivety, really. Nobody knows how to help the little kid who doesn’t even know how to stand up and say, “hey, I’m queer, and also different in other ways.” Turns out it was hard.

Lindsay Guentzel (20:00):

And there’s a chance that your brain was lumping them all together.

Emily Howarth (20:04):

Yeah, because different is different is different. And I’m just showing up as Emily. It’s something that I’m learning really not since I was 17 or even since the ADHD diagnosis, but from coming back from the suicide attempt that we talked about in the episode we recorded. It’s living my second life and getting to know me as I show up today. That’s what it’s really all about. It’s not about what I missed for however many years because I didn’t know I was queer, I didn’t know I was neurodiverse. It’s about learning who I am today and the superpowers that I have with all the things, all the ways that I’m showing up. And the privilege that I have to have a platform even like this to share my story and to hopefully reach other people who maybe don’t quite fit into societal norms, or even the way media portrays neurodiversity or queerness.


Because we come in all different shapes and sizes. So with my story, if I could reach just one person who’s feeling like they’re walking to a beat of their own drum and just not fitting in, that’s what I’m here to do. We talked about talking excessively. I’m not going to shut up until we figure this out, so let’s keep digging into that question. What is the connection between neurodiversity and queerness, and what resources can we develop to help those folks as early as we can?

Lindsay Guentzel (21:51):

One thing you mentioned is this idea that you are learning who Emily is now. And I think it’s so important to remind people that Emily right now could be a very different Emily in even 10 years, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think there was this idea, and it still feels very prominent, that you become an adult and that’s it. And there are no ebbs and flows to any of the things that you’re putting out there. And so I’m curious if you have felt that way, and if you have felt this pushback from society and from these norms, both from a sexual orientation standpoint as being a queer person, but also somebody who found out later in life that you also are neurodiverse.

Emily Howarth (22:35):

Yeah, it’s been really hard. It started with coming out as gay. And I don’t remember a lot of my coming out story. I know it was really easy with my mom, and there were some people in my family that I had a little bit more strife with, but I’ve been doing it for so long. Coming out as queer, I think, has helped me with the ease of coming out as neurodiverse, because I see the importance of talking about the differences in all of us. So yeah, I feel like I’ve got my back up against the wall in a lot of ways, especially with learning who I am. And with that, I’m finding more diagnoses that have gone missed. I’ve got neuropsychological testing scheduled because I’ve been talking to my therapist about struggling with OCD as well. And sometimes it’s hard talking to people about this because it’s like, “oh, another thing,” right?


It’s like, “oh, you’ve got this too, huh?” I don’t know if you’re feeling any of that right now with some of the physical challenges you’ve been going through, but yeah, it’s like, “oh guys, I’m queer. Oh, and I have ADHD. And it’s not diagnosed yet, but pretty strong indication that I’m on the spectrum, too.” And then there’s the OCD, and pair that with all the other things. And yeah, it’s hard to get people to believe you and to see the struggle that is life when you show up this way, because it’s not just anxiety and depression, and it’s not just challenges with motivation and fatigue. It’s layers. It’s so many layers of everything just pinning you down, that if you don’t have the right meds in place, if you don’t have the right therapies in place and the right alternative modalities and support systems and things like that, then it’s really easy to fall apart. And it’s really easy to get to a dangerous place, especially with impulsivity.


So yeah, I’ve been working really hard to leave judgment at the door for others and myself. It’s a line from a song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately, and just reframing my thinking like, “I don’t need permission from anyone to be anything. I just need to spend time figuring out who I am, and how to make this world that’s not built for me work for me.” And it’s a challenging and oftentimes very lonely process.

Lindsay Guentzel (25:30):

I feel like you might be able to connect with this, but I have said through my health journey over the last six months, “I am really good with being the center of attention. This all is a little much. I could use a break. I don’t need all of this at once.” But that said, going back to what you mentioned where it’s this feeling of you’re constantly being like, “oh, now there’s this, and now there’s this.” For people who have never dealt with something that can be so consuming of their life, once you know what proper treatment and proper acknowledgement can do for you, you would never do anything but fight like Hell to make sure that you get it.

Emily Howarth (26:10):

Yeah, absolutely. That’s what I’ve been doing. Ever since I survived my suicide attempt, I’ve been fighting like Hell for treatment. I had to fight like Hell to get into residential treatment because they told me I wasn’t suicidal enough. And you have to show up to every single appointment being an advocate for yourself, knowing all the things, knowing how you’re showing up every day and the ebbs and the flows. And you have to know how these meds are working for you, even though I’m not a doctor. Yeah, there’s so much that’s put on us, and then there’s the societal pressure to show up and perform the same way everyone else is. And it’s the wiring in our brains. That’s why it’s called neurodiversity, right? It’s not a choice, it’s not laziness, it’s not everyday anxiety that people just deal with. It’s an invisible disability.

Lindsay Guentzel (27:19):

There’s this idea of the double minority effect. So you as a queer person, as somebody who is also near divergent, would belong to this idea where you belong to two different minority groups. And I’m curious if you can see how the societal pressures of one then affect the other. So as you are trying to go through life as a person, all of the things that you have to fight for and work against, and constantly be hearing. Even right now, the hateful rhetoric that is being pushed across this country and is being pushed down our throats, and it’s hard to avoid it. How does that then affect your life as a person who is also neurodiverse?


And on the same token, there’s all these people who love to say, “oh, everyone has ADHD.” Or, “it’s not that bad.” Or, “everyone’s forgetful. You’re really making it into something bigger than it’s supposed to be.” And so there’s then, again, all of those things you are working against, and I’m wondering if you see that that is affecting your life as a person.

Emily Howarth (28:27):

Yeah, it’s an interesting thought. I think it makes me feel like I’m never doing anything right. And I know that kind of comes standard issue with ADHD, so we kind of level it up when you add the queerness to it because yeah, there’s legislation on the table right now for people’s rights to get taken away. And I’m an advocate for adding more health and history education to common core curriculum for LGBTQ+ health and history. So to hear things about the don’t say gay laws, and to be someone who grew up going to Catholic school and not even hearing anything about queerness, yeah, it absolutely piles on. Yeah, it’s hard showing up every day feeling like you are the square peg in the round hole, and always having to come out as different than you, really until you have conversations with other people. And then you find your communities and you find that we’re really not that few and far between, and we’re really not that different.


But yeah, it’s hard and it’s lonely, and you feel othered, and you feel like nothing you do is going to be good enough because you’re not fitting into that societal mold. You can’t love like everybody wants you to love, and you can’t work like everybody wants you to work. And because of that, you’re less than. So really struggling with negative self-talk and poor self-image, and trying really hard to focus on building self-compassion and self-soothing because yeah, the world is really difficult and it’s not built for me. And there’s a lot of hate against me, and there’s a lot of rhetoric that says my ADHD is not real, autism is not real. Or everybody has it. Minimizing it in some way.


When you wake up every day to a world where it seems like the hate is louder than the loving kindness, it makes it hard to still have hope. But I do want to say, last year I had the opportunity to attend two really cool events that were absolutely life changing for me, and they have to do with my neurodiversity and my queerness. One of them was in October, and it was a weekend camping retreat called Lezapalooza, and it’s for women-loving women. And it was the first time in my life I’d ever been surrounded by 250 women-loving women, and just the sense of community that I felt. That, and the ADHD conference in November were the two times in my life I ever felt like I really belonged because I was with the people who do show up in the world very similarly to me, who have walked a lot of the same roads and have a lot of the same struggles. And I’ll tell you, there are a lot of neurodiverse people at Lezapalooza.

Lindsay Guentzel (32:10):

I’m so glad that you made me laugh there because I can feel your pain and anguish. And I want to tell you, one, I’m so glad you’re here. And two, you mentioned that sometimes it’s really hard to feel like you’re doing things right, and every time you choose to be honest and to be yourself, you are doing things right because you’re helping other people. And I know you know that, and that’s what’s so wonderful is that you have found this place and you have found this purpose. And I’m so grateful that we get to share a little bit of your story, and I’m so honored that you trust me to tell your story, honestly. It is so hard sometimes in life to feel alone, and I will never understand what you have gone through, but to get to be a part of it, it means a lot to me. And I just want you to have as many more of those experiences where you get to feel like you belong. I want them to happen, all the damn time.

Emily Howarth (33:19):

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate you. You’re the real real, Lindsay, and you make it easy to just be open. Can I read a poem? It’s called Pride.

Lindsay Guentzel (33:34):

Yes, of course.

Emily Howarth (33:36):

Okay. So I wrote this poem last summer when poetry just kind of poured out of me. And I don’t know if you were around at the conference for this part of it, but I tried to read the poem a couple of times over, actually. I got big and brave and was like, “this is the moment.” There was a workshop where the presenter was talking about prideful disclosure, and I just felt inclined to share it, but it wasn’t the right time. And then there was a talent show, and I was told that you could sign up for the talent show, but it overlapped with improv. That was poor planning.

Lindsay Guentzel (34:14):

That is actually very poor planning.

Emily Howarth (34:17):

I know. I want to do the talent show and the improv.

Lindsay Guentzel (34:19):

Here’s the thing, Emily, let’s just be honest that, at a conference for ADHD, we all want to do everything. So unless you just don’t have anything overlap and it’s a two-week conference, we’re all going to be disappointed at some point.

Emily Howarth (34:34):

Oh my God. Yeah. And can I just say, how sick are you of being so excited to tell people about the conference, and then people be like, “oh, a conference for ADHD people. How do you get anyone to sit in one place?” And it’s like, “well, yeah, some of the workshops are three hours and we do a really great job because we’re interested, and they make it work for us. Can you imagine?”

Lindsay Guentzel (34:54):

We know we need to get new bits, like the new dad jokes. We need a new round of them for 2023 and on.

Emily Howarth (35:02):

Yeah. So this one I didn’t get to read at the talent show, but I did read after the talent show with just a very small group of people, and it’s called Pride, and I wrote it in June. But it’s not about me being queer, it’s about me showing up for myself when it was really hard to. It was a day where I had therapy and I had a psychiatry appointment, and I had social plans, and I couldn’t do any of them. And I sat in my anxiety and my guilt around that for a long time, and I scripted out all the ways to cancel all the plans and just sit on the couch in my office and not do anything. And then I practiced the pause, and I thought about just taking it one appointment at a time, and the benefits I get out of everything, and how lovely it’ll be to follow through on those social plans, and just coached myself a little bit.


And I ended up following through on everything, and I sat there and I was really proud of myself. I was journaling about the things that I did, creating my done list, and this little poem came out. I say little, but I talk excessively. Anyway, here we go. It’s called Pride.


Be proud of yourself. It’s okay, I promise. Celebrate the wins, all of them, even the ones that feel so small, it’ll be silly to celebrate them. Not only do you deserve it, it’s necessary. You need to know that you are not the person your negative self-talk says you are. You are so much more. Immeasurably more. I’ll say that one more time. You need to know you are not the person your negative self-talk says you are. You’re so much more. Immeasurably more. Read that as much as you need. Read it until you believe it. If you can’t see that yet, if you can’t feel that yet, you need to do the hard work. If you’re already doing the hard work, be proud of yourself. It’s okay, I promise. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep showing up for yourself until you can look in the mirror and love what you see. All of it. As is. And I mean really love. Like feel it in your soul kind of love.


Once you feel it, keep doing the hard work. Keep being proud of yourself. It’s okay, I promise. Recovering from years of beating yourself up is going to take time. You’ll take steps forward, you’ll take steps back. Keep doing the hard work. It’s a practice after all, and practice makes progress. Practice being proud of yourself. It’s okay, I promise. When all the skills you learned aren’t working, pause, take a few deep breaths, recenter yourself and try something new. Try something that brings you joy. If that doesn’t work, it’s okay. You tried. You’re probably frustrated, you still feel stressed out. Recenter again, pause, and reflect.


If you’re looking back on what you’re even doing, look back and remember, you’re doing the hard work. Look back and be proud of yourself. It’s okay, I promise. You’ll get tired. The hard work’s no joke. You’ll think, “what’s the point? This will never work.” Keep doing the hard work. Remember, you’re worth it. Keep your tenacity. Don’t ever lose hope. Be proud of yourself and the work you put in. Be kind to yourself even when it’s tough. Be honest with yourself. Not all thoughts are facts. Love yourself. Be proud of yourself. It’s okay, I promise.

Lindsay Guentzel (39:12):

You can’t come back from something as epic as that. Can I read you a poem? Always say “yes”, you guys. That was incredible. Emily, you are a gem and I’m so thankful we were able to have this conversation together. Thank you so much for joining us once again on Refocused. You can hear more from Emily by heading back to December 2022, episode 59, and listening to Emily Howarth and Loving Your Pinball Machine Brain.


Thank you so much for listening to and supporting this podcast. If you’re new here, my name is Lindsey Guentzel. I am the host and executive producer of Refocused, a podcast all about ADHD. That would not be possible without the incredible talents of the team I get to work with, including Phil Rodman, our coordinating producer who leads our live production, scheduling and audio editing. Sarah Platinitus, our managing editor responsible for leading our research as well as guest and show development. Elle Chaplin, our go-to for planning, creating, and organizing content strategy for social media. Support for this podcast comes from our partner, ADHD Online, and the incredible team of people I’m honored to work with every day, including Keith Boswell, Suzanne Spruid, Melanie Mile, Claudia Gotti, and Trisha Merchandetti.


Our show art was created by Cissy Yi of [inaudible 00:40:53], and our music was created by Louis Inglis, a singer-songwriter from Perth, Australia, who was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020 at the age of 39. Finally, a big thanks to Mason Nelly over at Dexia in Grand Rapids, Michigan for all of his help in getting our videos ready to share with you guys.


Links to all of the partners we work with are available in the show notes. To connect with the show or with me, you can find us online at Refocused Pod as well as @lindsayguentzel. And you can email the show directly [email protected]. That’s [email protected]. And remember, right now through the end of June, you can take $20 off your ADHD assessment through ADHD Online with the promo code Refocused20. Whether you’re looking for a second opinion, are ready to get answers for the very first time, or you’re just looking for a little extra information on your brain, this could be the perfect next step for you or someone you care about.


Remember, get $20 off your ADHD Online assessment simply by using the discount code Refocused20 at checkout. Head to ADHDonline.com to get started. Take care of yourselves and please, in an effort to reduce the unbelievable amount of stress we all carry around with us unnecessarily, be a little kinder to yourself this week, and we’ll see you back here soon.

Explore More

Alcohol and Cannabis Can Be Dangerous for People With ADHD

Alcohol, Cannabis and ADHD: What You Should Know

By Mary Fetzer Recreational use of alcohol and cannabis is common among...
Read now

Ying Deng and the Myth of Being An Adultx

Meet Ying Deng, the founder of ADHD Asian Girl and your Mindful...
Listen now

Upcoming – Best non-stimulant medication for ADHD

Have you ever wondered if there's an alternative to stimulant...
Watch now

We will perform scheduled maintenance on our Patient Portal on Thursday, September 28 from 5:00 – 6:30 AM ET. During this time, appointment scheduling will not be available.

Our team will be hard at work while many of you sleep to keep the disruption to a minimum. We apologize for any inconvenience.

The ADHD Online (early morning) Team

ADHD Online will be closed on
Monday, September 4 in observance of Labor Day.

Live support will be unavailable during this time, but you can always submit a request or leave a voice message at 888-493-ADHD (2343). We’ll get back to you when we return on Tuesday, September 5.

Each of our clinicians sets their own holiday hours. Check with your doctor for availability.

Looking to take our Assessment? That’s available all day, every day, whenever and wherever is best for you! 

Provide this form to your local practitioner. You could:

  • Send this link
  • Email the pdf
  • Print it out and bring it to your appointment

Ask your practitioner
to complete the form

In this form, your practitioner will request that ADHD Online continue to provide uninterrupted care

Return the form to us

You or your practitioner can return this form to us via email or fax it to 616-210-3118

Looking to take our Assessment? That’s available all day, every day, whenever and wherever is best for you!

For those seeking an Assessment, you can dive right in! Our portal is up throughout the holiday!

If you have a question for us, our office will be providing holiday patient support on July 3 & 4, and we are committed to responding to your needs as promptly as possible. In-person phone support may be available but limited due to holiday hours.  You can always submit a request or leave a voice message and we will prioritize addressing them upon our return. We genuinely appreciate your understanding. Full office operations will resume on Wednesday, July 5.

If you already are on our Treatment path, be aware that each of our clinicians sets their own holiday hours. Check with your doctor for availability.

ADHD Online will be closed on June 19th in observance of Juneteenth.

Live support will be unavailable while we’re closed but you can always submit a request or leave a voice message. We’ll get back to you when we return on Tuesday, June 20th.

Each of our clinicians sets their own holiday hours. Check with your doctor for availability.

Looking to take our Assessment? That’s available all day, every day, whenever and wherever is best for you!

ADHD Online will be closed on June 19th in observance of Juneteenth.

Live support will be unavailable while we’re closed but you can always submit a request or leave a voice message. We’ll get back to you when we return on Tuesday, June 20th.

Each of our clinicians sets their own holiday hours. Check with your doctor for availability.

Looking to take our Assessment? That’s available all day, every day, whenever and wherever is best for you!